I was supposed to spend all weekend studying, but I was so sick, I only got about 1/2 the studying done that I needed to do. I stayed up until 3:00 this morning, then got up at 5:30 with Dean, and felt horrible. I tried to go back to sleep without any luck.
Typically I would have spent the morning studying, but Angela had her pre-op physical, then run her to school. Still feeling like warmed over death I decided to take a long hot shower before heading to my class. While I was enjoying the steam room effect, I realized there was a huge (important!) section I'd forgotten to study. I ran upstairs, flipped open my book and thought, "If I don't know it now, I'm not going to know it for the test."
I closed my book, and held it in my lap, and started praying. First, I asked God for forgiveness, because I have NOT been a good steward of my time for the past couple of weeks. Too much waiting until the last minute for various things, including studing for school and completing big assignments. With finals here, and us leaving for Boston, the stress I have caused myself is immense. God gave me this opportunity to go to school, he made sure I have adequate time to study (because really, I do have enough time.) and he arranged for the financial part, and here I was messing it up!
So I asked God to forgive my waste of precious time that he'd given me. I thanked him for the things I've learned so far (most of which I have found immensely helpful when dealing with Angela's medical stuff.) I also asked him to please bless the two tests I needed to take today. Help me to think clearly, and sort through the information, and to retrieve words out of my brain that have a tendency to get stuck there! All I needed to do was PASS the class with a C.
I took the first test, and...while I didn't do phenomenally on it, I didn't do that bad either. Very "average". I took the second test (which was actually a retake) and asked my professor to not grade it, as I knew I didn't do very well on it. I'd passed it the first time, I just hoped to improve my score.
Now, let me explain about the final. Final exams are next week. You know, while we're in Boston. I had to rearrange my schedule with a couple teachers in order to take my final early. In this class it meant I'd have to take it tomorrow. Not really much time to study huh? And lets not forget the fact I am SICK!
So my professor goes over my grades and says, "You're at a solid C right now. If you take the final you can improve your grade, but you won't make your grade worse. In other words, you don't HAVE to take the final. There's nothing wrong with a solid C. That is "average"." All my other classes I have an A.
Hearing that I don't have to take the final felt like lifting 500 pounds off my shoulders! Not only that, but once I walked out that door, I was DONE with that class! HOORAY! Really, this class was killing me! If there was a class to challenge my self esteem, this was it!
Thank you Lord, for giving me the blessing of an education, and for the knowlege to PASS THE CLASS, and for removing the stress of that final!
Now all that's left is a final on Weds, an online test sometime this week (I just need to do the chapter work and I can take the test anytime before Saturday) and an online final that I'll have to take while we're in Boston.
I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER NOW!
Next semester is Math and two communications classes. I'm 12 hours a week in the classroom, most of it afternoons and evenings. Math has always been tough for me but I'm working on improving my study skills so I can pass those classes too!