Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our six kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Wednesday, February 01, 2012


So Axel and I are in Philly to meet with his surgeon tomorrow morning. Asher and Angela are home with Dean, but yesterday Dean had a mandatory meeting at work so Asher had to stay with a sitter. I wasn't thrilled about this, because not only is he staying with someone else, but our house is under construction so he had to stay at her house. None of it sat right with me, but we really didn't have a choice in the matter.

Now, Asher is a very curious little boy and really wants to see anything and everything there is to see, and apparently that includes what is underneath a dishwasher. Our sitter stepped out of the room to get something and Asher must have spotted something under the dishwasher, so he stuck his hand under there.

That's when our sitter heard him crying. She came running and he was laying on the floor with his hand under his belly, but he was crying. There was blood on the floor so she turned him over and found his hand bleeding quite badly.

Now, our sitter is a very good friend of mine who happens to get quite bothered by the sight of blood. Her husband was home so he bandaged up Asher's hand and she called Dean to let him know that Asher had gotten hurt. It wasn't long after that I emailed her something and she told me about the injury as well. She didn't think it needed stitches but also hadn't gotten a very good look at it because...well...she can't do blood.

So I was in Philly, feeling HORRIBLE that I was not there for Asher. I was already upset that he had to stay with someone else because he is NOT ready to be in the care of others yet. In the midst of discussion, and after about an hour, my friend said she she changed her mind and she did think he needed stitches. It was noon by this time, Dean left his meeting early and headed over to pick up Asher.

I was just sick about the whole thing. Just a few weeks ago we rocked his world when we removed him from all he knew. We've been trying to build his trust, teach him to come to us when he's hurt, that mommies and daddies are there to kiss the owies and take care of him, etc. And then we  up and left him at the sitter who was under strict orders that NO hugging or carrying was allowed,  and THEN he got hurt. And where were Mommy and Daddy? They weren't there to help him!

He layed on the floor whimpering, which really bothered me because it's so not like him. Then he fell asleep. This was an "I'm going to "freeze" then shut out the entire world" type of sleep. It's a coping thing. He woke up after a few minutes but wouldn't make eye contact with the sitter. I got on skip with them and he came over and tried to lean into the computer screen for a kiss.

Break. My. Heart.

A few minutes of that and he went back to the couch, laid next to her two small dogs and went back to sleep.

I was on Skype with them when Dean showed up to get him. OH! Was that boy excited to see his daddy!!! Look, he came back! He latched on and was not about to let go!!!!

So Dean brought him into the doctor and had me on speaker phone. She described the injury and said his finger was sliced right at the base of the nail, but there was a hunk of skin missing so nothing to stitch together. However, with the amount of bruising she was concerned about the bone so they did an X-ray, where they found that he'd sliced off the tip of the bone at the end of his finger. POOR BABY!!! He must have laid on that floor with his finger throbbing! Can you just imagine?

So he has this bad cut, we're not exactly sure what he cut it on, and his vaccines are not yet completely up to date so lucky little boy also got himself a tetanus shot. He's also on oral antibiotics and we have to soak his hand in antibiotic solution a couple times per day.

My poor baby. I felt horrible for him. Not only that he got hurt, but that we weren't there. He's still learning to trust us and it just made me feel absolutely horrible for leaving him. It doesn't matter that neither of us had a choice in the matter, we both still feel bad that we let him down.

So tonight I got to see his poor bandaged hand. It's his waving hand, poor baby! This is my view via Skype.

Later in the evening I skpyed with the kids to say goodnight, and Asher was trying to hug the computer screen with me in it. Awwwww And he has just started leaning in for kisses and he did it over and over again, trying to get a kiss from mom. It's just not the same from a computer screen. I can't wait to get home!


Kathy said...

That whole situation just sucked immensely. Fingers crossed that for Asher it was a teeny road bump instead of a tremendous pothole. I guess time will tell. I know you will do everything you can to make it up to him when you get home, and I'm sure that Dean is doing his best to give double cuddles while you're gone with Axel. Best wishes to Axel, for the best possible outcome. :o) Love you guys!

Imogen said...

Oh poor sweet baby! I CRINGED reading your description. Leah, I hope you can manage to stop feeling bad - accidents happen and are just that - accidents.

You had to be there for Axel and Dean had to be elsewhere; nobody's fault at all. Asher will no doubt get a HUGE mommy hug when you return home and his world will be as right and as safe and wonderful as it can be. Please throw all guilt to the curb. That sweet child is so incredibly blessed to have you, Dean, Angela and Axel. Big love to you all, and gentle hugs for your wee boys. Hoping Axel's apts. go well btw.

e said...

oh thanx girl...I'm sitting her bawling like a baby. We're just going to start sharing my nickname with you. "Murph" The only times molly has had to be admitted? I was hearing about it on the phone, on my way home.


It will all be a bad memory soon.....a very faint one. Promise.

Anonymous said...

Oh, poor guy! :( That must REALLY hurt! Don't blame yourself, mommy; it's completely NOT your fault. Hugs for both you and Asher! (And Axel too - hope his appointments go well!)

AZ Chapman said...

this really sucks so sorry to hear this He will need a mommy and me day when u get back