Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our five kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Monday, March 22, 2010

Oh...My...GOSH!

So, as you can see, this weekend when I was supposed to be working on algebra I was messing with my blog instead. It was fun. And now there are plenty of adjustments to be made. But, now I don't have time.

Why? Because last week I was getting straight A's in math, and as of today I am officially l.0.s.t.!

So I put off my weekend math homework until this morning. Mostly because there wasn't very much, and I would have several hours this morning to get it done.

Only I forgot Angela doesn't have school this week. Doing homework while keeping Angela occupied is a bit..um...interesting, and involves her watching FAR too much TV for any one person.

So I get her set up with the Ipod and her favorite album, and she shuts herself in the bathroom so she can sing and dance in from of the mirror. I know that album lasts exactly 73 minutes.

I sit down with my work, and with the very first problem I knew I was in trouble. The second problem was no better. 3..4...5....6...panic. Complete and utter panic! I got through #6 and Angela's music is already done. OMG! I try to find a movie for her, but all she wants is some on-demand shows, which are only like 17 minutes long. So here I am, about every 2 problems or so having to get another one going for her. This was NOT a good combination. I still had 3 pages of work to do, when I looked at the clock and realized I had to be IN CLASS in 20 minutes, yet here I was still in my pajamas and my hair unbrushed.

And Angela was home.

And I had to go to school.

Do you see a problem with this picture?

We have started leaving her home alone for 1/2 hr or so. Even an hour once (but we called every 15 minutes!) when she was totally engrossed in a new movie. But TWO HOURS? No, this was not good.

As I raced around getting dressed, my books in my bag, I called Dean to see how far away he was. He thought about 2 hours. No, this was not good. He said he'd call her every few minutes, and get home as fast as he could. I told him, "Just an FYI, I absolutely ***MUST*** get to the math tutor today! MUST!"

As I'm talking to him I realize it's 11:45 and Angela hasn't even eaten yet. This is a common problem right now. With her med change in December she has lost 12 pounds (which she needed to use) and she just isn't hungry in the morning. She does know how to make toast so I told her she could make that if she got hungry before Dean came home.

I raced to class.

I walked in just as we were getting started. The first page we corrected I had more than 1/2 wrong. The second page was a lot of the same. I didn't want to turn to the next page, because that was about as far as I got. HA!!! We didn't have to DO The next page! Part of the reason I didn't understand that was because we hadn't gone over it yet. SCORE!

We start going over the new stuff, and I'm not getting it. Not only am I not getting it, but my professor is asking me questions that I can't answer and I can feel my eyes burning with tears that are threatening to spill out of my eyes! OMG! Why do I have to have this badder eye disease!? Do you know what that is? It's where my bladder is directly connected to my eyes, so I cry very easily.

And it's possible I'm slightly hormonal.

It must have shown on my face that I was lost. (my sister will testify to the fact I'm a horrible liar!) because after one problem on the board my Prof asked, "How ya do'in Leah?"

"Pretty sucky!" I said.

"But do you see how I got from here (pointing to part of the problem) to here (another step in the problem."

"Um...sorta yeah." (swallowing hard with eyes burning...clenching my jaw to maintain composure.)

"Then you're not really sucky anymore. Now you're POST sucky. You're P.S." (joking around)

"Yeah, well that's a little close to some OTHER P.S. and it's possible I'm THAT too, because I think after today I'm going to have PTSS!!" (all the while wondering how I could bail from class BEFORE there were tears actually streaming down my face, but I know if I move a muscle they will start.)

45 minutes into class my phone vibrates. It's Dean, and he's home. Insert HUGE SIGH OF RELIEF here! 50 pounds was just lifted off one shoulder.

And all I could think about was the fact I'm going to miss TWO WEEKS of this class, and come back just in time for finals.

Dean home, and my class done, I headed for the math tutor. I got there at 1:20. All the while I was working, all I could think about was the fact I'm going to be gone two weeks and have NO IDEA how to do this work, PLUS what I'm going to miss, AND be ready for the final exam when I come back!

Somewhere around 4:45 I heard my phone vibrate, but I was in the middle of a problem, yet another that I didn't really understand. Finally done I picked up my phone and saw a missed call from...from my PCA!!! OMG!!! We had executive suite tickets for the Timberwolves, and I was supposed to leave my house in FIFTEEN MINUTES!

Here's some math for you. I'm 8 minutes from home. Have not yet showered today (and if you want to know the truth, I got dressed so fast I was missing four key pieces of clothing that nobody could see!) and had to drop Angela off with the PCA, then drive to my sister in law's house which is 12 minutes the OTHER direction. The answer to that problem? Like -30 minutes or something like that.

I pulled in the driveway and Dean was outside chatting with the PCA. Thank GOD she had been running early so she came over to pick up Angela, eliminating one step for me. I ran into the house to get showered, get Angela's meds ready and give the PCA instructions for the evening. (fortunately she knows Angela well so there's not too much to tell!) And Dean tells me that his sister is going to come pick us up. THANK YOU GOD! One more step eliminated.

Got my hair dried and make-up on, shoes on, when Dean says, "Thanks for letting me know Jennie was coming today."

GOOD LORD can I just crawl into a hole NOW???? Jennie is our behavior specialist, and apparently today was here day to come, only I had, yet again, neglected to get that on the calendar. (not that it would have helped much since yesterday I had the DSAM dance on there and I forgot about THAT!)

We finally made it to the game (on time!) and now I'm home. I realize what I've been feeling all day is panic. I have a research paper to write (which shouldn't take me too long) a project for another class, and my Algebra work. Have to arrange for Angela and the dogs for a few days when Dean isn't able to manage either while I'm gone.

Angela is out of school all week, and Dean is "not around" for two of the days when I have class. (fortunately my class is only a couple hours each day.) I CANNOT miss class, AND I need to be with the tutor every day or I'm screwed for algebra class.

There are still things to buy for the Serbia/Bulgaria trip, and I'm starting to feel panicky about money. Its THERE, but I still feel panicked. Probably because I had to put $600 into my car last week that I was planning on for my trip. It was actually my new camera money. You know, the camera I'm supposed to be using to take new pictures of some of the kids in the Serbian orphanage who need updated pictures to help them find families! Yes, a windfall of about $1000 would be nice right about now.

Today Shelley emailed to let me know there is 80 pounds worth of boxes on their way here, to be packed in my uber-huge suitcases this weekend.

And I have soaker pads that need to get shipped. Maybe I'll get a ton of soaker pad orders in this week? That COULD bring in the money I need.

Lord? You have absolutely BLESSED me with the soaker bad business! It has raised all my Bulgaria money plus. It's been VERY slow the last month or so Lord. Please help me reach my $1000 goal this week. Thank you for your amazing blessings with this trip, and to the families of Bulgaria, and the children of Serbia. You are an awesome god! AMEN!

Oh, and did I mention on Weds I have an appointment to get tubes in my ears? I better not forget THAT!!!!!!

My heart is racing now. Is yours?

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