Blogging about life and raising our five kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Monday, December 03, 2012

Two years ago...

Two years ago today, I put on a brave face and walked into Axel's foster home. His foster mother was not there that day. I know it was because she couldn't stand to be there when he left.

We played for just a few minutes when someone asked if we were ready. I removed the clothes I'd brought from the bag and handed them to one of the family members. As she dressed Axel she wiped tears off her cheek.

While I was having a hard time with the emotions behind all of this, I was also taking mental notes of Axel's behavior. All the times he kicked her, pulled her hair, spit at her. Behavior that I hadn't seen during the previous two visits. I also noted that nobody seemed surprised by his behavior, nor did anyone tell him to stop. I was starting to worry just a tiny bit!

At 10 years old Axel was drowning in the size 6 pants that were 5 inches too long! For weeks I had imagined him in the brand new jacket I brought along and now the time was finally here!  I handed it over. He was SO excited about all the new clothes! You could see he felt very grown up.

It was time to go. It was all I could do to hold myself together. Axel walked out the door ahead of me, holding the hand of his foster father. Someone  had told him he was going for a ride in the car and he was very excited. He was getting into a car with a woman who talked crazy talk gibberish (which must have been what English sounded like to him!) He had no idea...no idea I was taking him away forever.

The rest of that day was very difficult. Very. Difficult. You can read about it here. 

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