Today is my birthday. It is not a milestone birthday. It does not have a zero in it. I'm just 44. Usually on my birthday I'm a pretty happy person. I have plenty of reasons to be happy! I have the most amazing man ever, I have wonderful children, we are "comfortable". I am comfortable. My life is good, and I have nothing to complain about. It is an absolutely beautiful day outside, one of the few we've had so far this summer.
So why am I not happy? Why do I feel like I have a hole in me? In the last couple of weeks there have been some really hurtful things said and done. Some of them intentional, some not, and some I'll never know. Most people who know me know that I'm not a grudge holder. I'm pretty quick to pick myself up and move on. There is a life to live, and I'll be darned if someone else's poor ability to be human is going to hold me back. But these events have shaken me. Even though it's all been emotional, I feel like I've been stomped on, spit upon, and thrown in a street gutter...forgotten. Some of those involved don't even realize what they've done, which speaks volumes about their true character, I think. No, I'm not going to address the issue with them. I'm not going to waste my time. It is pointless. It has been going on for years and I guess I've just finally hit my limit in dealing with it. I'm just going to be done with it. I will do what I HAVE to do, when I have to do it, but I will not do any more than that. I will not expend any extra effort in that area. My circle has just gotten a little bit smaller.
So lets splash some cold water on my face and move on, shall we? I'm going to focus on this weekend. It's Noah's 24th birthday on the 3rd, and the 4th of July. Axel's first 4th of July, Angela home to celebrate with us (I think she's been with her dad nearly every 4th of July) and fun stuff going on around here. Carnivals, and corn dogs, fireworks and parades. Let's sing Happy Birthday to America instead!