Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our five kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Saturday, October 09, 2010

Myth or fact? On Lying

I love 31 for 21, because you get to read some really fun stuff about great people, all who are walking around sporting an extra chromosome which makes them part of the same club we're in.

Today Becca over at The Bates Motel, brings up one of the misconceptions about people who have DS: That they have an inability to lie.  My good friend Tamara gives her perspective as a mom to a 13 year old boy and his attempts to get away with doing things he's not supposed to do.

Not one to be left out, I have a couple stories to share. Shocking, I know!

When Angela started telling tall tales, they revolved around TV shows, and her wanting to be part of them. She would often say things like, "I have 5 brothers, Robbie, Noah, Tyler, Bryon and Zack." Umm...sorry but "Zack" is a character in a Disney channel show!

A couple years ago they started to get a little more involved. We'd be at a grocery store check out and the cashier would attempt to make polite small-talk with Angela, who would find a way to announce, "I have a soccer tournament today!" No...no she didn't! She wanted to play soccer, and since the store clerk didn't know Angela didn't actually play for a team, she was free to say whatever she wanted. Except she forgot her mother was standing right there!

Angela knows the months of the year, and the days of the week. She knows the dates of every birthday of ever person in her family (including all of our dogs!) and she loves to go over them with me several times per week. Angela's birthday happens to be on June 6th, so imagine my surprise when we showed up to watch Dean bowl one Thursday night to find one of his league friends had a birthday gift for Angela. In December! Apparently the week prior Angela had told him, "Next week is my birthday! December 6th!"

My favorite incident happened last spring. It was a Friday morning and I was getting ready to drive Angela to school. As we were getting in the car she informed me, "I need money! For Bruegers bagels. Today we're walking there for lunch." I had vague memories of having signed a permission slip for this a couple weeks prior, so I didn't doubt her. I didn't have any cash so we swung into a gas station so I could access the ATM, then bought a pop so I could break the $20 I'd just gotten. As we pulled up in front of the school I handed Angela a $5 bill which she promptly stuck in her front lapel pocket of her jacket.

"Hang on a sec." I said, as I pulled out my phone. I quick called her teacher. "Are you walking to Brueggers Bagels today? Oh...you did that two weeks ago? So there's no reason for Angela to need money today then huh?"

Angela handed me the $5 bill with a smirk on her face and quickly got out of the car so she could get into school safely without a lecture.

Angela tells stories all the time, and it's pretty clear that she has a hard time understanding the line between fantasy and reality. But there are certain times, like about the money for the field trip, when she knows exactly what she's doing is wrong, and makes a choice to lie anyway. And yes, we do address the issue! Yay for us, another normal developmental milestone to address! HA!

1 comment:

Becca said...

Haha!! Love this, Leah! Thank you for refuting that so perfectly. Angela's too funny. I know Samantha knows how to manipulate us and others, so I guess that should be my first indication that that assumption is definitely a myth. I guess I just wanted to know how deep it could go. Telling someone that her birthday is next week and saying she needed money for a walk to a bagel shop is definitely pretty blatant! LOL

Thanks for that!