A couple weeks ago I stumbled upon a (new to me) blog. I don't remember how I got there, and I guess it doesn't really matter. What matters is that I enjoy the writer. She is "real". Ok, yeah I've never met her, but she SEEMS real, so that's good enough. After reading for a few days, she posted this post. If you read through the comments, you'll see one from me. I meant what I said. About the smoothies, not the running thing. I was lying when I said, that. Or drunk. Yeah maybe I was drunk that day.
So the smoothies have been haunting me. And besides, I didn't know where to buy almond milk.
Then today she posted about her love affair with coffee. It's possible I read that post right after a mad dash out of Target and my 5th trip to the restroom all because of my vice: Mountain Dew. It is my coffee. Every few months I get off the stuff, then one day out of the blue I buy one and there I go again.
So anyway, today I decided we were going to have these green smoothies for dinner.
I know that some of you are thinking to yourself, maybe even out loud to your spouses, "Leah decided to make Dean drink a green smoothie for dinner so she didn't have to cook."
That is just not true. Well, maybe it probably is a little bit. I mean, we ALL know that not only do I not belong in the kitchen, but the kitchen does not like me. Seriously, I'm pretty sure Satan's brother himself lives in my kitchen. It is THAT bad. I am THAT bad. My ideal meal is one we can drink out of a glass, I think.
So tonight at 6:15 I told Dean I was going to run to the store to get stuff for dinner. Yes, 6:15. I have a problem called "avoidance issues" when it comes to making dinner, probably because I am afraid of my kitchen. Anyway, Dean asked me what I was getting and I told him, "I don't know yet."
I was lying to my husband. I knew exactly what I was getting, but I knew that he was not going to be all, "Oh, that is a GREAT idea!" and I would then have to be all, "No really, this is good!"
While Dean had been napping on the couch I'd been googling "Where do you buy almond milk?" and discovered something amazing! That all I needed to do was walk into the ORGANIC section of our grocery store. Who knew??? Well, the store I usually go to had shelf stable almond milk, and that just doesn't seem right to me. "Milk", no matter animal, vegetable or fruit, should be cold. So tonight I went to the expensive grocery store. You know the one with carpet and elevator music? There, in the refrigerator section, was the almond milk.
I got the other ingredients and headed home. I called my sister and told her what I was doing and she laughed, said something about being cruel to Dean, and wished me luck with that.
When I came in the door with my bag of stuff, Dean was looking at me with that, "Well? What's for dinner?" look. You know the one you get at 6:50 p.m. and the man hasn't eaten yet? I sat down and read to him a couple of the blog posts I mentioned above. Some of us...ahem...have major blood pressure issues going on in this house, and all of the grown ups are fat and need to do something different. As I read the blog posts to him, I was trying to make them sound all light and happy, and "Look, we can get skinny LIKE HER!"
Finally Dean asked, "So what's for dinner."
"Green smoothies!" (insert GIANT toothy grin here)
Now I want you to find a clock with a second hand and stare at it for 30 full seconds. That is how long Dean stared at me.
He blinked once.
I walked to the kitchen to start making our green dinner when finally Dean said, "You know, a lot of people drink smoothies now. I know, because I sell them, and we sell a lot of that stuff."
Thank you God. I bow before your throne in praise of your grace and mercy. This could have been so much worse.
Dean drank his green smoothie, and other than the fact it wasn't cold enough for him, he didn't complain. And Axel? He drank his in record time. Angela was at her dads, but I know she'll be game.
So maybe this might be a breakfast thing, but if I can find some green smoothie recipies that would work for a real dinner, I'll use them. And to my sister? Neener Neener Neener!