Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our six kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Project de-clutter

A year or so ago we rented a HUGE dumpster, and filled it. Most of that stuff came out of our storage room that the mice had infested, along with our shed that was just as bad. Most of the stuff we ditched we hadn't seen in years, so it didn't really make a visible difference.

Thursday was a bit trying for me, and really threw me for a loop. I keep telling myself that I'm imagining the lump, and they're not going to find anything anyway. And then I swallow again. Or take a pill and it gets stuck. And oh yeah...the doctors felt it.

My mom said she is coming down for the endoscopy. My mom lives 4 hours away, and while she is often in "the cities" for various ministerial obligations, I don't remember the last time she had time to stop in. But now she's coming down for this. I will be honest...that freaked me out more than the fact the doctors felt the lump too. My family is pretty medically knowledgeable, and my mom rearranging her schedule to come down for this two hour procedure...well..wouldn't YOU get freaked out?

So, the clutter in my house has been driving me crazy for several weeks, but I just haven't had the energy to do anything about it. Somehow Thursday put me over the edge. As the kids' PCA was leaving we set her schedule for next week. She'll be keeping Axel busy (Angela will be away at camp) so that I can work on the de-clutter project.

Then Friday happened, and as I sat at the kitchen table I could feel the kitchen closing in on me. It was crushing me; the cabinets, the stuff collected on the counter tops, the cabinets I'm afraid to open, the poor use of space because of the previous owner who installed them. My heart was racing and I couldn't look away from it. I think I was having a small panic attack. And now my mother is coming.

I emptied the worst but also most-used cabinet when I realized I needed containers. Axel and I went to Target and got some "stuff" to help me organize. At midnight last night I had one wall of upper cabinets done. (One coffee drinker in the house and 38 coffee cups? I think that's called "excess"! Had my mother opened that cabinet, a cup would have fallen on her.)

I also attacked the school corner, which for weeks has been a collection of bags and piles with nowhere to put the stuff. Oh, and I put the Nativity set away. ;-)

Today and tomorrow I'll be taking a break because I have to pack Angela for camp, and make the four our one-way drive tomorrow to drop her off. Monday I'm back to de-cluttering.

Oh, and for those who are wondering, Tuesday is my endoscopy. I know they won't find anything. I just know they won't, because I'm only 44 and I'm not in a high-risk group. Very rarely drink, don't smoke, sometimes eat fiber (GREEN SMOOTHIES!) and I don't chew tobacco. Given all that, its very unlikely they will find anything. I would think if there were something serious there, it would feel worse than it does. I can eat, I can swallow (though sometimes stuff gets stuck) I'm not in pain...usually.  I'm fine. Really. But if they do find something, they'll be taking a biopsy.


krlr said...

Oh that sucks. Sorry, I've never officially delurked before but I hope everything turns out to be nothing on Tuesday. And that all your clutter vanishes.

doozee said...

De-cluttering is... oh, I don't have an adjective for exactly how marvelously awesome it is. It changes my life though. Have you dabbled in Feng Shui? It's also awesome - but it's all about de-cluttering, at the root. That also changed my life. Powerful stuff.
It'll help with everything and OF COURSE they are not going to find anything on Tuesday!

ProjectTLC said...

nothing will be found but you will get definite answers. that is my prayer for you. :)

Mel said...

Yep... nothing serious... but at least you'll know. :) Also, once you have your test, your Mother goes about her business, and you are done with all that de-cluttering, feel free to call me and I'll give you directions to my house and you can de-clutter here! hehe Love ya girlie! I'm praying extra hard for you!!

Cindy said...

Sorry you have to go through this. The doctor felt some lumps on my throat a few months back but they turned out to be benign nodules on my thyroid. I will pray the lump in your throat is benign as well.