Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our six kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

I'm not brave

Over the last couple of months many people have said to me, "You're so brave."

No. No I am not brave. What about being given a diagnosis of cancer makes me brave? I have no choice in whether or not I choose to fight this disease. That doesn't make me brave. It makes me a patient.

Someone who is brave steps into a situation no matter  how scary it is, like running into a burning building to save a life. Am I determined and strong? Yes, I think I am, about a lot of things. But I am taking this disease by the horns not because I like the thrill, but to keep it from impaling me! It is absolutely possible to have a positive attitude about things while simultaneously being scared to death!

I am not a survivor yet either. A survivor is someone who has come through a difficult battle and lived to tell about it. Right now I am a warrior. I am a fighter. I am in active battle with a horrible disease that kills people. When I ring that symbolic bell in honor of my last chemo treatment, when I can say there is no evidence of disease inside me, THEN I become a survivor.

My tshirt for today


jody said...

Ah, but you really do have a choice! You could crawl into bed, pull the covers up and whine "why me". But, you've chosen to show up for life. You are a warrior and I am in awe of your insight and choice. Good thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Tigger (aka Karyn) said...

Choosing life can sometimes be a brave choice.

Unknown said...

Hi Leah

I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you as you start your chemo journey today!
I know how daunting and fearful it feels right now. One session at a time is all you have to do.

I will think of you and send you positive energy in the quiet moments of my day. I will also light the candle for you and pray you are surrounded by love!
You are not alone on the journey.....Love Lin ( LinMac from Downsyn)

The Red Thread Kids: said...

Hey, thinking and praying for you and your family out here in Az.