Abel: 3 Months Home

Three months seems forever ago and like yesterday all at once. Three months ago we brought home a very scared, anxious, feral little boy. Three months ago we were truly worried how he would integrate into our lives.  If only we knew how appropriate Abel's name was for his new life. This little boy who was so wild, so difficult, so scared.(The pictures are blurry because he was in constant motion, which meant we were too.)

Three months ago a lot of things changed.

Me met this little boy who cried all.the.time.

He cried about absolutely everything. He seemed like a truly miserable kid who really didn't know what he wanted much of the time. In reality he was a little boy who had never learned to regulate his emotions, and his emotions were always extreme. In walks these people who don't know how to talk anything but gibberish and making him do things that he doesn't necessarily want to do. Like stand still. Or sit down. Or play with a toy. Or chew his food. We made his life miserable for awhile. Unfortunately there was no avoiding it.

But kids do what works, and crying worked for him in the institution. He got what he wanted much of time with those tears. When he came into our care he quickly learned the tears (or sometimes fake crying) wouldn't work. Now Abel has real communication. He is developing language. He can ask for things using signs, often putting 4 and 5 signs together, which gets him a response. He chuckles every time it works for him. "I want cup please" gets him his favorite past time of spinning this little cup on a chair, which would last for an entire day if we let him. Instead he gets 5-10 minutes and then it's time to be part of the real world again. In the last couple of days he has starting coming to me signing, "Play go please." and pointing down the hall. This is his way of asking permission if he can go play in the bedroom with the other kids. (not something always allowed depending upon his mood!)

Abel can sort colors quite well. If there is a food reward he does so effortlessly. Without the reward, he will intentionally mis-match the colors, shaking his head "no" while he does so. Sometimes even crying and sobbing as he holds one had with the other, trying to get it to put the color in the right place, but it's as if his hand has a mind and will of it's own which cannot be forced to do the correct task. Sometimes he will sign "sit" instead of matching the color, which means he wants to sit on time-out (which for him is about 30 seconds) Sometimes he likes to use time-out for an escape. Then out comes the food and suddenly the colors go exactly where they belong the very first time. Axel used to do the exact same thing. It is probably one of the strangest phenomenon I have seen, and yet I have read other adoptive parents of older kids describe exactly the same thing. It is very frustrating, both for me and for Abel. Fortunately, because of food rewards, we're were able to find out not only can he sort objects by color, but also by shape and size. YAY!

When we first came home back in April and the weather finally turned so we could spend time outside, we showed Abel the swings in the back yard. He was petrified of them. It wasn't the motion, because he loved to hang on the trapeze thing we have back there. I couldn't figure it out. Clearly this was fear...PRIMAL fear....I didn't know  how to get past it. Even food couldn't win him over on this one.

The one afternoon while scrolling through pictures of our time in Serbia for his adoption, I was reminded of an experience we had with Abel out on the playground. We were trying to keep him busy for the two hour visit and walked outside. It was one of the first times he happily walked with me without dangling some type of food in front of him. And then I had to wreck it by bringing him to the swings and indicating I would put him on one. OH.MY.WORD!!! The child absolutely FREAKED OUT! It was then I noticed, for the very first time, the towels that were on the swings. These towels are multi-purpose. They are used for bibs, wash cloths...and for tying kids into chairs or swings. Abel was a really difficult kid go have out on the playground, and I suspect keeping him in the swing was one way to manage him while out there.

It took weeks of food bribes, and making him sit on the swing for three or four seconds at a time before he learned he wouldn't die on that swing.  Then....finally....one day we were all out in the yard, when I turned back to see this. I cried real tears.


It wasn't easy, but the struggle over the swing set the stage for many other situations around here.

Here we are, nearly 3 1/2 months home. Abel is so ABLE to do so many things! Because he conquered the swing, he's now willing to try other things that would have been impossible for him to work through just three months ago.


And the growth!! When we came home Abel was the same height as Asher and four pounds heavier. Now he is 2 inches taller and 15 pounds heavier!

Asher and Abel are now inseparable buddies. They do everything together! We didn't know how much Abel depended upon Asher until I took Asher to Philly with me. That's when we realized that Abel really takes a lot of cues from Asher, waiting to see what he does when we give them directions together, looking to see if Asher seems afraid in certain situations or if it's O.K. to have fun with whatever we're doing. 

We got the last of medical specialists seen several weeks ago. The end of September he will have the first of three surgeries. Usually I try to get all the procedures done at one time but we just couldn't get everyone scheduled unless we waited until December, and that is just too far away. He'll have his dental work done first, then the of October his tonsils and adenoids out and an ABR, and later in December some urological things taken care of. 

It has really been an interesting 3 months as we and Abel learn about one another. He has come so very far! 

From this worried little boy who couldn't sit still for a fraction of a second

To this very confident tween who is READY to head off to school in the fall!

A Day at the Office

Axel came trotting out of his room wearing his baseball hat and sunglasses, his toy computer tucked under one arm, a stack of magazines and a calculator in his hands. "Gottago" he said. "GoWork." (his words all run together, probably what we sound like to him.

He grabbed his backpack and quickly shoved everything in. "Bye mom!" he said, and ever so gently gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Bye Papa." giving Dean the same loving kiss.

"See you! Love you. Bye. Have a good day." as he closed the door behind him.

Oh, but this is Angela's favorite game! It is called "Pack a bunch of crap in a bag and hike around the yard!" She jumped to her feet, got her backpack and hollered "Bye! I'm headed to work!" as she ran to catch up with Axel.

I expected they would do as they usually do and head to the back yard. Dean went outside to get something and Axel was at the door of my van. "Papa! Keys please!"

Ummmm......No.

So they settled for driving their pretend car and sitting at their pretend desks on on the pavement.

It wasn't long before Asher joined them. Angela is typing away on her invisible computer.

And there are phone calls to be made.

It's very busy around here in the summer time. By the time I catch my breath in the morning it's time to make dinner. I love it!

Poor dogs!

The night before Dean and I left for Serbia, in the chaos that is me getting ready to leave the country, about 9:00 pm I sat on the couch to catch my breath, go over my list and see what was left to be done.

That is when I looked at my dogs.  They were in desperate need of grooming. Then I realized that while we would be gone, the back yard would thaw out. The mud...omg the mud!  I decided the dogs MUST be shaved down before we left. There I was, until 1:00 a.m. bathing three dogs and making a mess of the house by shaving down down all three of them.

 That was back in April. Sadly my dogs have been very neglected since then. Also, Zurri is getting fat. I want Zurri and me to start  a new exercise program but to be honest, I can't take her in public because she looks like a stray.

Zurri feels so much better!

She says she's ready to start working out!

Tomorrow is Dudley's turn!

Shriner's Update

Today was our appointment at Shriner's Hospital.

It was Axel's 2 year post-op follow up. He is doing just great and the surgeon is pleased.

Asher had his c-spine and then full-spine X-rays. He has horrible kyphosis but it is completely positional and not something we need to worry about for now. His AAI is...well...not really AAI.

AAI is movement between the C1 and C1 vertebrae. Last year Asher's was borderline, but now it looks fine, measuring at 4mm which is within normal ranges.

And then there is AOI. That is the movement between the Occipital (the head) and C1. That measurement needs to be under 10 mm, and anything over that needs to be fused. Ashers measures 8.5-9mm. Most kids don't get worse after age 8, but Asher has delayed bone development. So, we're going to recheck him in 2 years and see where it's at. For now he has no restrictions. YAY!

Hello Philly!!!

This morning Axel, Asher and I hopped on a plane bound for Philadelphia, PA. The boys have a check up with their spine surgeon at Shriner's Hospital on Thursday.

This is Axel's 2 year post-op check up. Can you believe this is what we were doing 2 years ago in May? I don't know what was worse: seeing him in the halo, knowing the screws were boring into his head, or knowing we had months ahead of us to deal with this contraption! It seems like a long time ago now, and all that is left are eight faint scars on his forehead and the back of his head. The scar on his hip, where they took the bone graft, is nearly invisible.

Asher is also being seen. When he first came home in December 2011, I made sure his AAI screening was one of the first things done. Everything looked find then. Six months later the kids and I were driving to D.C. for the 2012 NDSC conference, a trip which included Axel's one year post op visit. Well, two weeks before the trip, Asher started playing with a clicking sound in his neck, which is the same thing Axel had been doing prior to his surgery. Axel's surgeon was kind enough to squeeze Asher onto the appointment schedule That's when we were told  his was borderline and would need to have precautions in place to prevent injury to his spinal cord.

I should have started buying lottery tickets right then.

Asher can do some interesting things with his neck. We call this "taco neck". To see it in person makes people squirm. Just try putting your ear below and behind your shoulder like that!

Asher, spring 2012- taco neck

There is a theory that Asher's first screening done when he got home was not accurate because his bone age was significantly delayed due to malnutrition, so there wasn't enough calcifications on the bones for it to be seen. 6 months later, after rapid catch-up growth and good nutrition it showed up. He's grown A LOT in the last year, so I'm really anxious to see what his new X-rays show.

Here's the horrible part. I would rather them tell me it's time to do a fusion than deal with him being on restrictions forever. This kid is BUSY, a climber and frequent faller. I have 10 near heart attacks per day. Axel's AAI was much more obvious and left no doubt that he'd need surgery.

I will update more on Thursday after our visit.

 Every time we come out here (and I think this is 5th or 6th trip) we don't have time to see or do anything fun in Philadelphia. This time we're going to hang out a couple extra days. Friday and Saturday are scheduled to be some really fun days with lots of friends.  I can't wait!

2000!!!!!

This is my 2000 blog post! Can you believe it? I'm going to re-post my very first entry,  written 8 years and one month ago. 

Thursday, June 30th 2005

It Sneaks Up On You

It sneaks up on you ya know. When you have little babies nobody ever warns you that one day....in the not so distant future....they're going to grow up and do adult things. Like driving! Last winter I realized just how fast it happens.

When I learned to drive, (I swear it feels like it was yesterday!) I took all three of my behind the wheel classes before my parents...ok my mom...would allow me to drive the family car. I remember them arguing about which vehicle I should drive, the suburban or the cadillac. Each parent had an argument for why I should drive the other's vehicle. At the time I thought it had to do with how difficult either one was to drive. Now I know better!

Fast forward to 2005, and my 16 year old son Tyler has just gotten his permit. Much to my surpise, things have changed! The first change is that now, when a kid takes behind the wheel, they have one lesson then come home with a list of things to practice before the next lesson! What? You want this kid, who's only been behind the wheel once in his entire life, to drive MY VAN? Not only that, but it comes with a little note like, "15 hours practice, then schedule you're next session." Oh....my....God! Do they not realize that 15 hour is a very long time?

Now, I have convinced myself that I am going to be the "cool mom" and let Tyler drive all the time. I can handle this. I am a grown up, have survived the military and everything. I should be able to handle a few hours of drive time with my son. I was soon going to come to the realization that teaching my child to drive was to be the scariest experience of my entire life! It out does Army basic training, tear gas chambers and gas mask training. It outdoes childbirth even.

Our very first time went something like this:

My older son Noah (age 17 but not yet a driver himself) was in the back seat. I calmly handed the mini-van keys over to Tyler, noting that he was grinning so hard I thought he might actually hurt himself. He climbed behind the wheel, looking around for the shifter like he knows its there...somewhere. Calmly, and without a word, I reach over and touch the end of it with my fingertip. He giggles, "Oh yeah. It was in a different spot in the instructors car." I swallow hard, then double check to make sure my seatbelt is securely bucked. I look back to see that Noah is now sitting in the middle of the back seat, looking for something to hold onto.

I encourage Tyler to adjust the seat to fit his long legs, instead of it's current setting that fits my very short ones. He opts to leave it where it is, with his knees about 6 inches from his chest, leaving little room for the steering wheel. I remind him to adjust the mirrors to fit his line of vision, he opts to leave them where they are too. Then he reaches over and turns on the radio. I turn it off. Afterall, I need to concentrate here.

Now, we have an extremely steep driveway, with a 10 ft drop on what is now the driver's side. (Lets remeber that I, the mom, am on the passenger side of the car. This is NOT the place to be if you have control issues!) Picture a rollercoaster. As you come up the hill you cannot quite see over the peak to the other side. This is exactly how our driveway is. Funny I've never been afraid of this driveway before, but at this moment I have visions of us finding the edge and rolling down that hill. Tyler makes himself very tall in his seat to watch the nose of the van go up over the crest of the hill. By the way he's holding his breath I can tell he's scared to death. Then realize I'm holding my breath too!

Having survived the driveway (I only had to hold my breath a few seconds before it was over.) we pull onto the street and C-R-E-E-P up to the stop sign. This turn will put us on a busy highway with many blind entrances. Suddenly I want out of the car because I feel like I'm going to be sick. But I suck it up, say nothing, and hold on just a little tighter, hoping that he can't see my white knuckles on the door handle.

Out on the street, I realize how very narrow the lanes have become, especially since Tyler clearly has trouble staying in his! 55 miles per hour seems much like the Indy 500. Fortunately I don't really have to worry about it, because Tyler won't go more than 40mph. In my side mirror I notice the cars stacking up behind us and decide that when a kid gets his permit, the parents should be given a "student driver" magnet for their car. (a few days later, on yet another practice session, I wrote in the dust on my back window "student driver, pray for the mom" but Tyler didn't think it was funny. Go figure.)

I was trying not to say much too him because I've heard that a distracted driver is a dangerous one, but there was a major intersection coming and I couldn't help myself. "Ok Tyler, now we're coming up to this stop sign. You can start to slow down now....Tyler...Slow DOWN now Tyler. Oh my God SLOW DOWN!!!! STOOOOP!!! How come you didn't slow DOWN when I told you too? Don't you know when the light is red, and the cars in front of you are stopped you have to stop too, and that takes TIME and DISTANCE???????"(ok, well yeah I was near a nervous breakdown, and I kid you not my chest started hurting with heart attack like symptoms.) I am pretty sure I heard Noah stifle a scream in the back seat. I looked back to see his expressionless face had gone white as snow.

We drove about another 2 miles and it started sleeting. I also noticed the traffic was picking up as it was peak rush hour. I made the executive decision that our little practice session was going to be cut short. I told Tyler to pull into the next convenience store, and when we parked (which took several tries to get the aim just right) I gave him a dollar and told him to go get a pop. When he came back I was sitting behind the wheel.

For the first time, I hear a 17 year old voice from the back seat, "Now I know why I don't want to drive."

There is no way we're going to have 15 hours of practice time before his next behind the wheel session. In fact, we're going to LIE!

It's time

Life has taken many twists and turns over the last 2 1/2 years. Nothing I could have ever predicted, but nothing I have regrets over either!

Sadly, the time has come for me to walk away from one part of my life. I've written about it here several times, but the post that explains it the most can be found here.

Here's a link to my craigslist ad. I cried while I wrote it. (really....I cried writing a CL ad!) Please feel free to pass it on. The sooner I can say goodbye the easier this will be. 

It's not them, it's me

Parenting kids who are not biologically yours can be difficult. Parenting kids who have come from traumatic situations is tough. Parenting post institutional children is...well its difficult and tough.

Some days I'm not very good at it.

When Axel is e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y slow doing e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, I have to remind myself a gazillion times per day that this is just how he is wired. He doesn't have a "fast" speed. His speed options are "slow" or "sleeping". It is hard not to get irritated when I'm trying to rush everyone out the door and....he....is.....just.....picking....up....his....shoe...and....looking...at...the...laces...to...decide...which....shoe....to...tie....first.

Ice cream face! Most of his melted before he ate it.

Its not him, it's me. I need to realize this will never change and I need to allow him more time. I am terrible at math, but I am a good problem solver. I need to remember there are many things Axel is really good at, and that being quick just isn't one of them.

When Axel is getting lost in some sensory experience, and his eyes glaze over and take on that far-away look,  I need to cut him some slack. I need to remember all the years he spent wrapped up straight-jacket style and that his brain may never figure out what to do with certain types of input. I need to remember that sometimes he just needs to check out for a few minutes.

When Asher lays on the floor for hours on end dangling a stuffed animal over his face and grinding his teeth, I need to remember that he spent 7 years doing just that. He didn't know how to do anything else, and so unless he is being directed through an activity, this is his go-to place. It's hard to watch him leave reality when I know how much he loves it. I need to remember that those 7 years have far more influence on his brain than the 19 months he's been home.

When Asher is exercising this new defiant attitude he has developed, I need to remember this is a normal developmental stage for a 3 year old, which is exactly where his 8 1/2 year old self is! I need to remember this is PROGRESS!! That his new-found whining is communication he never had until last week, and instead of being irritated by it I need to celebrate it. (and to be honest, I find it kind of cute...for now.) Yes! Yes! I will celebrate WHINING!! When he asked me, in sign, if he can put his swim trunks on (because he wants to play with the hose...again.... I need to enjoy the fact he has enough language to make the request!!!

When Abel stomps his foot at me when I tell him "no", I should not get mad. Abel has spirit. The spirit his caregivers loathed is the one we need to embrace.  He is a survivor and a strong one at that. When he asks me 700 times for something I have told him he cannot have, I need to remember that just three months ago he had zero ability to ask a question or make a request. Now he can sign "I want drink please", or "I want cup please" (which is his favorite stimming object that replaced the block) He can tell me he needs to use the bathroom. He can ask if it's time to put his shoes on. He can sign "Want outside please" and then "Swing please" to tell me what he wants to do out there. Three months. Amazing.

He was happy with the corn dog....

 until he found the stick. Who put a STICK in my food??? Complete Meltdown ensued. 

When Abel pees his pants in fear when we walk into a store he is experiencing for the first time, or a doctor's office, or when he is very rough with his therapist when I'm not in the room, I need to remember his history. I need to remember that "therapy" wasn't always a pleasant therapuetic experience for him. When he acts as if we are murdering him by making him sit in a new chair for the first time, or a new swing, or a put a pencil into his hand that he has never seen before, I need to remember that his strong flight or fight response is what saved his life. (surely my neighbors have heard this scream by now and wondered if they should be making a phone call!) When he freaks out because I put a piece of tape on his finger, I need to remember "humor" is a developmental milestone, and he is not there yet.

Most of the frustrations I have in parenting our adopted kids are my problem. They are my reaction to parenting kids who have histories and habits that developed long before I came into the picture. I need to remember that kids who have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) have memories that can be triggered at any time, in any setting, and I will probably have no idea what triggered them. Those memories can make my life difficult and it is not the fault of my child.

For every time through the course of a day that I must give out reminders, I need to give myself three. It's only fair, since it's not them, it's me.

It's why we chose them

When we chose to adopt, all we had left at home was 14 year old Angela. We didn't want an infant or toddler. Dean and I are on the older end of the age range to be considered candidates to adopt. But there was more to it than that. We specifically chose kids who nobody else wanted. Kids who were too old to be "cute".  Kids who probably have more baggage than the younger ones. Kids who's chances of ever being adopted in their own country were far worse than younger kids with the same diagnosis.

We chose Axel. He was 10 1/2 years old at the time. He had lived in four different settings by the time we arrived in the picture. The previous 1 1/2 years had been in a foster home, but they were very much done with him and he would soon be headed back to a either the Kulina or Subotica institutions, where he had already spent 7 years of his life. We chose him for all the reasons everyone else had passed him over. He had Down syndrome, he was older, he had behavior that was difficult to manage. All those things made him perfect for our family.

We chose Asher. He was 7 years old at the time. He lived in a world of isolation, disconnected from reality. He didn't smile. He didn't laugh. He didn't cry. Asher merely existed. He wasn't cute. His tongue was gigantic from seven hears of sucking on it. We chose Asher for all the reasons everyone else passed him over. All those things made him perfect for our family.

We chose Abel. He was 10 years old at the time. He was hyperactive. He was destructive. His behavior was atrocious and the staff couldn't really manage him. He could not talk. He was still in diapers. We knew what his future looked like. It was dark and dismal. While we were there twenty 18 year old kids were transferred to one of the worst facilities in all of Serbia. It is where Abel was destined to go.

None of them have been easy kids. It has been work to add them to our family. Between the therapies, the behaviors, the teaching how to "be" in the world, it is work. But do you know what? At the risk of sounding like I'm bragging, it is work that apparently Dean and I do well.

Many people have asked me if I think any of our kids have RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). I think its an interesting question. Some people don't think it's a "real" diagnosis. Let me tell you, I lived with RAD long before we adopted kids. Time in a NICU, extended time in hospitals, traumatic births can all cause RAD. There are so many potential causes, and what doesn't affect one child can have catastrophic affects on another. That said, I think every child who comes through either the foster care system or from institutional care has *some level* of attachment disorder. It has taken Axel two years to feel like he's really attaching to us. Asher was much faster, and he doesn't have the passive aggressive behaviors so common among kids with RAD, but he is only ever-so-slightly more attached to us than he is to a random stranger at the mall. Abel is probably the one with the most attachment problems, though it could seem that way since he's only been home a couple of months. Thankfully we've been able to extinguish the most dramatic of his negative survival-skill behaviors (like flipping over furniture, attacking other kids, etc.) What we are left with is zero eye contact, minimal touch accepted, passive aggressive behaviors (which when combined with OCD which is oh so fun!)

And do you know what? If given the opportunity we would absolutely do it all again. Yes, we absolutely would. 

Camp

Five years ago we found the most awesome camp for Angela. Wisconsin Easter Seals Camp Wawbeek!! 

Camp Wawbeek has several different sessions throughout the summer, for a wide variety of ages and special needs. It is staffed 1:2, and then each 3 person team is part of a larger group of around 8 campers and four counselors. If your child isn't really ready for a "camp" experience, they also have a respite camp for those with more challenging behavior or medical needs. Respite camp has a 1:1 staff to camper ratio. It is open one weekend a month year round. The very first time Angela went to camp Wawbeek, she went for a respite weekend so they could get an idea which camp would be a better placement for her. At the time her behavior was really challenging. Although she required 1:1 staffing, the director felt Angela would like the regular camp better because she's a very capable young lady. So the staffed for her at a 1:1 ratio but had her attend the regular camp. I was really pleased they were able to see past the behavior and to the real Angela. They made adjustments to what they normally do and made accommodations to find the best fit for her. Now, years later, Angela's behavior is only rarely a problem and she attends the regular camp with the same camper.

Angela has been anticipating camp for weeks. We've been going over the calendar each day so she's gotten a daily reminder of when it's coming. Those who know Angela know how she gets a bit obsessed about what's coming up on the schedule. LOL Anyway, at 8:00 on the Saturday night before camp I decided I should get the rest of the camp forms filled out for Monday's drop off. When I opened the PDF's to print them I realized I had a problem. Drop off was the NEXT DAY! OMG!!

Panic ensued. I had planned on spending the next day getting laundry caught up so I'd have 12 days of clothes to pack for her. Instead I thanked God for 24 hour shopping at Walmart. Angela was due for some new summer clothes anyway, I just hadn't planned on it being that day.

I have gotten good at this packing for camp thing. I try to pack so Angela is as independent as possible while at camp. The less help she needs the better it is for her.

This is how I do it: Each 1 gallon bag below contains a full outfit: shorts, shirt, socks, underwear, bra. All Angela has to do is open a bag and put on everything that is in the bag. But this is in Wisconsin, and just like where we live in Minnesota, several seasons could happen within the same day, not to mention cool mornings and evenings.  I pack several pairs of jeans and sweatshirts to deal with that.

Here is all of Angela's camp stuff. I found a new product by Suave. It is a 3-in-1 shampoo/conditioner/body wash. The one I found came in a pump bottle, which is perfect for Angela who has trouble managing screw or flip-top bottles.

If I only stop once it is a 3 1/2 hour drive to camp in the Wisconsin Dells. The entire drive is full of great anticipation on Angela's part! Finally we reach the entrance into the Wawbeek camp forest!

Angela always tells me, "Just drop me off. Please?" Because she just wants to get on with camp already! LOL Every year I have to remind her there is a whole check-in process that we are required to go through, dropping off meds with the nurse, getting her things unpacked, etc.

And then....then I get in my car and drive home. Alone. Three and a half hours all to myself! We spend many days keeping the other boys busy, and going over the calendar so they know when Angela is coming home. They really miss her a lot, but before we know it, it's time to go back to get her!

She is always SO EXCITED TO SEE ME!!! She nearly knocks me over as she comes barreling toward me for a hug. This time Axel came along and he got the same warm welcome.

Angela with one of her camper friends.

And her camp counselors.

Bye camp Wawbeek! See you next year!

I haven't quite figured out how we will do it, but we're hoping to send all four kids to camp together next year. I know three for sure will love it. We'll see about the 4th. LOL

Homesick

In 1993 my family moved to a tiny town in the heart of Minnesota farm country. I loved it there. I loved that tiny town. Our first house there was a huge, 100 year old, 3500 sq ft 3 story with 6 bedrooms and a "parlor". I love the house. Not past tense, but present tense because I still love it. Although it needed a lot of work, the house held so much.

I loved that the first few years we were there, mail was not delivered door to door. Instead everyone "in town" would walk to the post office to get their mail. It is where everyone went to get the daily news (or gossip. LOL) I loved that one block away was my best friend Joanie, and across the street from her the town pool were my boys learned to swim.

The town water tower was just above our house. I'll never forget when the new tower went up, and as the company painted it they left out an "r" in Prairie. I caught a picture of it before they were able to repaint it. I loved that just outside of town lived my sister and her family. We often got all the kids together for a game of softball at the ballpark, or sledding parties during the winter.

The only thing the house was lacking was acreage. Although it was on a very large corner lot, I wanted to be out in the country.

In 2000 we sold the house (and the new owners promptly did all the things we'd wanted to do!) and bought a small, 10 acre hobby farm just outside of town. The house was ok, the property was ok, but it is the house where my already weak marriage fell apart. The house itself doesn't bring great memories. What does hold great memories is the space the boys had to just be boys. Riding dirt bikes, learning to drive a car, my chickens and large garden, the neighbors I was very close to. We still lived very close to my friends and family, and the grocery store was just a few minutes away. I loved being out in the country, away from everything and yet it was all still so close. I loved it so much, probably because I grew up in a similar environment. I still missed that big old house in town.

By March of 2002, my marriage had finally disintegrated to the point of no return and the kids and I had moved into an apartment in a neighboring town. Then to another town even further away in the school district I was working for. In August of 2003 I met Dean, and in 2004 we moved 70 miles away to join Dean.

We have a beautiful home here. Dean and I have worked hard to make it the way we like it, and still have things we want to do to the house. We live in a secluded area which is just how we like it. Most of Dean's family live within a few miles of us and we get together often. I adore Dean's family and they have welcomed all of the kids with open arms.

But I'm missing some things.  I'm missing walking to the post office or taking a stroll to the grocery store just for a gallon of milk. I miss evening strolls on those quiet streets. I'm missing the hardware store, and the bank where the kids would walk to get a free ice-cream cone during Dairy days. I'm missing the school where all my kids walked to, even when we were frozen under three feet of snow. (but if it was really bad I'd drive them.) I miss the town festival and the excitement it held for the kids as they watched the carnival roll into town. I miss the little town pool and playground. I'm missing my good friends. I'm missing having my family nearby.

I miss...I miss a lot of things about that town.

MN Special Olympics Summer Games 2013

Last weekend was the Minnesota Special Olympics Summer Games. As always our kids had a blast! The weather was beautiful most of the time, though a little on the hot side. I'm not complaining though! Summer took FAR too long to get here and I'm loving it.

Our games are spread over the course of 3 days, with more than 7,000 athletes participating in track and  field events, gymnastics and tennis. Angela, Axel and Asher participate in the track and field events. This is Abel's year to watch, get used to being in crowds, and see what all this hullabaloo is about. If he's ready, he'll start participating next year.

Our first event was Axel's softball throw. We had to wait awhile for Axel to get there from the staging area. We were waiting in the full sun without any breeze at all. It was HOT! Abel was not happy. With me or the sun, I'm not sure which. Probably both!

Angela was hot even with her cooling vest on. (the black vest she's wearing is full of ice packs.) She really needed one on her head. 

Here he comes!

These two hooligans were having a discussion. 

Abel: "Asher, I bet we can move this thing."

Asher: "Hmmm"

Abel: "See? Like this!"

C'mon! You do it!

Meanwhile on the awards podium.....

Axel gets the silver!

Next we had Asher's tennis ball throw, but there are no pictures. Dean was back at the team tent keeping the other kids cool and I was 1:1 with Asher, so no pics. 

The next day was much cooler. Only we really had to rush! She had her MRI at 6:30 that morning and had to be ready for her event at 10:30. Of course she had to choose this day to react to the contrast dye! "Angela, we don't have time. Hurry up." LOL

Two hours later, here is Angela lined up for the 100 meter run. 

And they're off!

 Angela takes the bronze!

Angela Spring and her good friend Carly Sprung. 

We barely had enough time to get her staged for the 50 Meter run.

Crossing the finish line

Angela and Carly, waiting for awards. 

Angela took 4th place. 

Am I the only one who's kid does the Macarena on the awards podium?

Later in the day was Angela's standing long jump. Dean was responsible for taking these pictures because I had the other kids back at the tent. Of course, he cut her feet out of the picture so I have no idea how far she jumped. LOL He tried though, so I'll give him credit for trying.

But she must have done ok, because she took the silver! LOL

That night there was a dinner and dance with live music, and a BMX show. Unfortunately some very severe weather was moving in so everything got cut short. We made it back to our van just as the first drops hit. We drove home to tree limbs falling all around us!

Saturday, the last day of the Summer Games, it was time for Axel and Asher's running events. But first, it was imperative to spend time in the Healthy Athletes Village! There are so many fun things to do in the Healthy Athletes Village, and lots of free stuff. There are many specialists who volunteer their time to come out and give the athletes a screening. Pediatric Ophthalmologists testing vision, Pediatric Audiologists doing hearing screenings, Podiatrists fitting athletes with orthotics, etc. They also make referrals to other specialist if they see something that needs to be looked at further. They also had healthy lifestyle activities the athletes could try out. 

We did some Hula hooping. Dean got in on the action. He can still do it, I can't. LOL

This was Angela's favorite: the Zumba tent. Angela LOVED doing Zumba! I might have to get her into a class at the Y or something. 

I bet you won't be surprised to find out she ended up on the stage with the Zumba instructor. She is all about being on stage. 

Enough of Zumba, lets get onto the events! Here's Axel running his 100 meter run. Notice the wave? Also notice everyone else is long gone? LOL  Yeah, who cares about the "race" part? Surely everyone is yelling and cheering for him. And they WERE!!!! 

And he takes the silver. WAY TO GO AXEL!

He is so very proud of his metal! He deserves to be. Think of where he was just a few years ago!

Little Asher. He is READY!!!! 

He's telling them to hurry up and say GO already!

Asher wins the Gold! Do you know what this picture means? Think of where this child was just 19 months ago. Sitting in an institution in Serbia. Disconnected from the world. Nobody to love him. Alone. He was completely alone. 

And now he is so thrilled to have this big gold dangly thing around his neck. His world is perfect now.

Axel's turn for the 50 meter run. Hi DAD!!!!

Another gold medal for our delegation!

Look at the smile on his face!!!! I know there is someone very special reading this, so happy to see this smile. So happy to see the opportunities Axel has here. He's one very special young man. 

Abel was ready to go back to the hula hoops. He can make anything spin for the longest time!

Angela learned the art of the hula hoop transfer.

Asher LOVED running around with the hoops, dragging them behind him. He quickly picked out a favorite, I think based on the sound it made as it dragged on the ground. 

Axel tried the transfer but wasn't really thrill with it.

And then there was a minor hoop accident. 

And this brings to close another year of track and field for our kids. Two nights a week of practices have come to an end. Next year we'll have four athletes competing. I can't wait!!!!