Life Changes

Well, I started out the week announcing that some changes were coming. I had no idea things were happening behind the curtains of life that I wasn't yet aware of. These things have taken a front seat for the moment.

Back in July my mother in law underwent an open lung biopsy. For months she had been having trouble kicking some type of infection, being short of breath and just generally low on energy. The lung biopsy showed she has Usual Interstitial Pneumonia (UIP), and a second opinion by Mayo Clinic confirmed the diagnosis. This disease is in the family of Pulmonary Fibrosis. It is a terrible diagnosis. There really is no other way to say it. At the same time she was recovering from surgery, Dean's dad has been having his own problems that have brought great concern and resulted in an ambulance ride this week. We're still getting test results so I really can't say more than that right now.

We as an extended family, (Dean and I, his brothers and sister and their spouses) have all been making adjustments to our lives as we have come together to help Dean's parents make adjustments to theirs. Fortunately they live close by. It was good timing for the kids to go back to school, and my son Tyler has been helping out around here when needed. We have now all learned how to work three different types of oxygen delivery systems!

It feels like so many things have happened just this week. So many changes, and yet in reality most of those changes have been emotional ones. Our physical life has not changed. Maybe an extra appointment as we all share the time with Dean's parents, getting them to doctor appointments and helping out with small things around their house. I don't want to call it a "responsibility" because that sounds unpleasant. Like it's a chore. Really, for me, while the underlying reason has not been pleasant,  it has been a true joy to spend this time with my mother and father in law. Although Dean and I have been together 10 years, apparently they and I needed some time together and God saw fit to arrange it.

When Dean and I met 10 years ago, I had a list of 5 requirements that had to be met by anyone I was considering dating. One of the items was "Must have good relationships with parents and extended family." Thank you God, for making me take this very important quality into consideration.

On Wednesday evening Dean's entire family sat in the emergency department of a local hospital.
In an exam room lay my father in law who was being closely monitored. Sitting next to him was my mother in law, hooked up to the oxygen we had just learned to operate only an hour before. Just steps away, a tiny conference room had been available to us.  I looked around at the people who took up the other chairs. Dean, his brothers, sister, and us spouses, one of the teenage grandkids. I listened to voices as we discussed hard things. I am a reader of nonverbal communication; body language which conveys so much! In that moment I remembered my list from 10 years before. Right then, I thanked God for delivering me into this amazing group of people who love and care for one another. Who think nothing of dropping their lives to for the sake of family. Yes, there are changes coming. With God's grace and the love we will get through them.

How are we REALLY doing?

A few weeks ago, a very good friend of mine called me. We hadn't talked in awhile because life has 

been...well...busy. She finally asked me, "How are things really?"

I had to chuckle. She knows the potential for a really rough transition bringing a new child into the house; the potential for severe behavioral issues from any one of my kids, but particularly the one most recently added. A quick thought of my blog came to mind. Am I open enough here about the difficulties? I think so. 

I have to say, things really are really good! Of all the kids Angela is probably the most difficult, but she was tricky to deal with before the boys joined us. If there is ever a problem with her it's stuff I would consider very normal sibling issues (like when she tells Axel, "Don't look at me!") which are minor, but more often it's just her own "stuff" that rocks the boat. Like when it's time to turn off the T.V. to come eat dinner. I don't argue with her, as there is no point in engaging her at this point, so I just unplug the t.v. and and leave the room. Most of the time she comes to the table then, other times she stews about it for a few minutes. If that's the most severe problem we have with Angela, I can handle it. LOL 

Axel is really a very easy kid. He occupies himself   with a variety of toys and activities.
 He loves most new activities I present him with, provided they don't require him to THINK. He it's something has to learn, or put some type of effort in, then things are not quite so easy. Eventually he gets it and can be found later initiating the activity on his own.  Right now he's very interested in numbers and the calendar, and spelling words. He now finger spells several. It's so fun! The only time Axel really gets into trouble is if he and Angela are playing together and he gets over stimulated. When they play together I keep a very close eye on things, often having them move their activity to the living room.


And then there is Asher. Could God have given us an easier kid? I don't think so! Unfortunately the fact that he's "easy" is because he doesn't really know how to do anything. Getting him to engage with toys is very difficult. He'll do it for a few minutes if you're right with him, but he had 7 years of laying on a floor with nothing at all to do or play with, so that is his default now. Several times I day I have to go looking for him, and most often find him in his bedroom laying on the floor in a patch of sunlight, lounging like a cat. Old habits die hard! Even so, every day we see changes: discovering a new toy he'll play with himself - for a couple minutes anyway, a task he can now do himself, a new food he can eat without my pureeing it, etc. When he starts school in a week we're upping the ante a bit and will be requesting more from him. ;-)

So yes, things are THAT easy. Really. Yes, adopting one more does put us at risk of getting a really difficult kid. We know that. We had the same quiet fear when we were in process to adopt Asher. Our house was (still is) very peaceful. What if we wrecked that???? I think every adoptive parent probably has the same reservations each time they decide to do it again. We'd all be a bit crazy to assume every adoption would be as easy as the two we've already done.

Descedants

Whenever we introduce Axel to people, the first thing they say is, "Oh that is a cool name! Like Axl Rose, right?" Ummm no....

Lundgren Family-Back: Axel (my paternal grandfather), Grandma Alma (holding Marjorie), Ruby, Mayme; Front: Howard, Harold, Eleanor, Harry

There are four brothers missing from this picture who weren't yet born, one of them is my dad Ed.

A Day in the Life

Today was the first warm, pleasant day in ages. Ok, it was only 1/2 a day because a small but severe storm blew in late afternoon. Still we were able to mow the jungle back yard that needed before we left for Philadelphia but it was just too wet. So it waited another two weeks, which we really debated paying someone to bale the stuff!

We were still able to get some play time in. Axel helped me plant some flowers, but I forgot to take pictures. It was pretty funny, because he really wasn't interested in having that dirt on his fingers. He did it though. Cuz he's a trooper.

When that was done, someone needed to clean up the mess! Axel LOVED the broom, even if it meant a near heart attack for both Dean and I. What I loved is the REAL Axel is back, giggling away! I just love his giggle. We have no idea exactly what he's giggling about, but this is his "trouble" giggle, which means in HIS mind he's doing something potentially naughty. LOL I think he's trying to bug Angela in some way, but the rest of us were clearly oblivious to it. I don't know if you can tell in the video, but there are a couple times when he starts tipping backward. Then, just two seconds after I stopped recording, he went stumbling foward several feet, with me lunging from behind hoping to get hold of his shirt. (you know, the velcro one that would have given way!) Dean? Didn't even flinch. Yeah, that was the end of sweeping.



Then came snack time, and chillax'in! Angela is just getting over yet another sinus infection (I swear this is like the 10th...or 100th... she's had since November!) so her face is kind of a mess. But hey, she was OUTSIDE, which is very difficult to get this teenager to do sometimes!

How about some soccer? After the experience with the broom earlier, I wasn't about to let Axel mess around with running and stuff. Nope, not till that halo comes off! Don't you just love his laugh? He's trying to get the dogs with the ball. LOL But Angela and Axel LOVE kicking the ball with each other, so Axel wasn't about to let a little halo stop him.


Weather Axel realized it or not, he was tired after all this. After all, he did just have major surgery less than two weeks ago! How well I remember overdoing things myself! It was time for mom to help the little boy find a pillow and a blanket, and settle in for a nap. I was *really* tempted to join him, but a storm was coming in and there were a couple things to finish outside. I managed to get the strawberry bed weeded and play a little soccer with Angela before the tornado sirens went off.

When the day was over, it was time for one of our new evening rituals. Actually, this happens twice a day now. Morning and night, we have to clean Axel's pins. Dean has yet to do this, because he says it creeps him out. Really? What if it creeped ME out too? Then who would do it? Something tells me it's time for Dean to clean some pins. Anyway, Axel gets really chatty while we're doing this and I've been trying to catch him on video, but Mr. Smarty Pants stops talking when he knows the camera is going. Tonight was no different, but I still tricked him to talking a little bit.


So that's a day in our life. What did you do today? Do tell!

Just some fun pictures

I'm still learning how to use my mac. Tonight I downloaded Picasa (not really sure that it has anything I didn't already have though) and re-discovered some recent pictures I'd already forgotten I'd taken. LOL