Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our six kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Wednesday, February 04, 2015

Its been awhile

Hi everyone.

I'm still here. We're still here. Life is good, just very, very busy. I like it that way! I have some projects underway I want to blog about but I'm having a lot of trouble putting my fingers to the keyboard these days.

Tomorrow I will have my 6th surgery in 10 months.

Oophorectomy. Ovary removal. Take those suckers out to decrease the level of estrogen in my body. Decrease the estrogen that fuels my cancer. Its just an outpatient procedure, but thats how they do a lot of these surgeries now. Three of my major surgeries have been outpatient and I was home in my recliner - heavily drugged - by 5:00 pm.

It is kind of weird that Dean and I have a routine worked out for when I have surgeries: who does what to get the house ready for me to be out of commission, what to do with the kids on surgery day, knowing how long it usually takes for me to wake up from anesthesia, get through recovery, etc. Who in the world makes surgery part of their normal? Today I was getting kids of buses, telling drivers who will be here with the kids tomorrow. One of the drivers said, "Well, you always recover so well and jump right back into life."

"Always" because this is normal for us. That's just weird.

And yet there is always that tiny fear. In the last week people have made comments like, "This will be a piece of cake compared to your other surgeries." and "You'll be back to yourself in no-time." Those statements feel like a foreshadowing to me. Kind of ominous. Like this one surgery that is supposed to be so simple may not go so well. But I will do what I always do, making sure Dean knows where all important documents are, just in case.

You'll be happy to know my left foob (fake boob) is looking fantastic as my plastic surgeon continues to expand it. It almost looks like a nipple-less breast now. Oh, oops! I almost forgot that the expander slipped under my arm so it looks like a nipple-less breast under my arm. Aren't you glad I don't post pictures?

My right side, the one with the horrible infection over Christmas, has healed nicely. In the world of breast cancer reconstruction that means I don't have open wounds anymore. What I do have though, is a huge dent and some creases that don't belong on a woman's chest.  All my tops look a bit odd with only one boob. Occasionally I wear a prosthetic but I get so HOT with it. Most of the time I just wear bulky sweatshirts. This is the first time in my journey that I have felt uncomfortable with my appearance. As you can imagine I'm looking forward to April when I can start rebuilding that side again, and next fall (next FALL!) when I can have my final surgery.

So tell me, what have you been up to the last month? What is consuming the majority of your time? I'm making some changes in our life that I can't wait to tell you about. Where do you feel you need to make changes in your life?


Unknown said...

Urgh! Another surgery. Rats. I will be centering my thoughts and prayers on your tomorrow. Thinking about you in Michigan. Kelly

Melissa said...

What are we doing? Took the younger twin to a specialist in Palo Alto a week ago. 1100 miles round trip with two of us driving. Now we wait-again. Glad you are doing well right now.

Imogen said...

Bless you, Leah. I can't imagine this journey is anything less than stressful to go through, and yet you do bounce back - which to me is both inspiring and amazing. I'm sure you have tears behind closed doors, but you always manage to see the humor in everything too. Your strength and tenacity shine through your words. Many hugs for your surgery, and thanks for keeping us all updated xx

eliz said...

Oh Leah (((HUGS))) Wishing you a new "new normal" soon!

Cindy said...

I can't decide if it's sad or brilliant (or both) that you have a routine for 'surgery days.' I hope this most recent surgery went well.

I've been focused on our class for kids with special needs. We've moved into a much larger room and now I have to decorate it and get everything put away. It's exciting - and exhausting - all at the same time!