Blogging about life in Minnesota, raising our six kids with Down syndrome while battling Breast Cancer.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor in the morning the devil says, "Oh shit! She's up!"

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Hello 2015: Pt 2

Back in mid November I met with my oncologist. I hadn't been back since about three weeks after I was done with my last chemo and I was WAY over-due for a check up.

I thought I was done. I had a lumpectomy, then chemo, then mastectomy. I can't take Tamoxifen though, and my risk of recurrence without that drug is about 25% so I need to get my ovaries out to reduce my estrogen related risks.  Still, I had done everything I needed to do. All that was left was finish the reconstruction process and move on with my life.

I was stunned, literally brought to tears, when my doctor insisted I go on a drug called Arimidex. It is not just this drug, but that I will have to take it in combination with another drug called Zometa. This is given as an IV infusion every 6 months as long as I'm on the Arimidex. The two drugs have a combined list of side effects that is daunting. But what are my alternatives? At this point my risk of recurrence is very high.

I was getting tired. This is a long battle and I am weary. As much as I remind myself that I am alive, that I don't have cancer anymore that we know if, that there are others far worse off than me, I could still feel myself sinking. I was no longer able to see the positive in much of anything, and my sense of humor was disappearing. Surely with all the things I have done so far I didn't *really* have to go on these drugs? I sought a second opinion.

My new oncologist explained things to me so much better. There is no doubt in my mind now that I must go on these drugs. But, he wouldn't let me leave without having a bunch of things done and getting other visits scheduled. Another to-do list for me:

1) get a ton of bloodwork done, 17 vials drawn. One of the tests will be to look for a genetic marker for strokes which will help in decision making related to cancer treating drugs in the future.

2) Scheduled an appointment with the Onco-gynolcologist. She will be doing my ovary removal, hoping for surgery the first week of February.

3) did a DXA scan to check my bone density. This is crucial before starting the other drugs since they can deplete minerals from the bones.

4) I must drop 60 lbs as soon as possible. Even though my ovaries will be gone, the adrenals still produce estrogen as does body fat. I need to have as close to ZERO estrogen in my system as possible. I am scheduled to see a metabolic specialist from Mayo.

5) I have been crying for two months. Tears that come out of nowhere that overwhelm me. The past eight months combined with the prospect of five years on the new drugs I have to take, throw some surgeries in there and a major setback to my reconstruction, and my emotions were getting the best of me. I had no control over them anymore. My new oncologist very gently suggested I talk with my primary care physician about getting on an antidepressant. "This is a very normal response to cancer and its long-term effect on your life. But I need you thinking positive about the next five years, not dreading everything and talking yourself into every side effect before you even start taking the drugs."

Ok, yeah, he had a point.

Up next: Hello 2015 pt 3…Pulling up my bootstraps, with a little help.

1 comment:

AngelaLexi79 said...

I have never posted on your blog before but I wanted to tell you that I was praying for you. I am sorry you have had to go through this and I am sorry that you have been crying for 2 months. Just remember that you have others that love and care for you and that the worst part is over. And the good thing bout losing that weight will be you get some new clothes :-)