Look Who Came to Visit!

This is a Sharp Skinned Hawk. I don't know that I've ever seen one before, but he's been hunting in our yard. The Chickadees in my previous post are NOT happy, since they are prey!

He's really looking hard for something, and thinks he sees it.....

Another hawk flew over. "This is MY hunting spot!"

This is who he was looking for when he was on the fence. As soon as he flew away, this male squirrel came out. His mate has babies in a tree that the hawk was sitting in.

The Boy from Baby House 10

If you haven't read this book, I highly suggest it. Dean and I both read it. Tomorrow night on Dateline "The Boy" is going back. Back to where he came from, for the first time. Check out the trailer.

BIRDS!

About a week and a half ago, on one of our very few semi-warm days so far this spring (warm being over 30 degrees!) Dean noticed a pair of chickadees working on a nest in a hollow tree that had broken off last fall.

I watched, and I waited. I didn't have to wait very long, because these two were in a hurry! I haven't seen the female for a couple of days, so I'm sure she's sitting on eggs now.  Each time they came out of the hole, they had a beak-ful of shavings from inside. They have to clean out that hole for the babies that will be here soon!

See the bird waiting on the branch? He's waiting for the female to come out of the hole, then he'll go in.  If you look closely you can see the tip of the female's tail in in the hole.

 

They came out of the hole like little rockets!

Guess what I'll be watching for the next few weeks? Between the humming birds and the chickadees, my camera is gonna be busy this spring!

Don't Forget!

All you sports moms out there, don't forget I have a post you'll be interested on my other blog! For those who had trouble commenting earlier in the week, that problem has been fixed.

God is absolutely amazing.

So you all know that the number 300 has been pretty significant around here the last few months.

Last week I entered the Silva family's giveaway they were doing to get their little guy Noah home. I had just gotten my non-adoption related portion of my tax refund back, and my entry to the give away was my tithe from that money. As I was getting ready to hit "submit" on the chipin, I hesitated. What if I needed to buy toothbrushes? That money would buy all the toothbrushes, plus some extra, for my upcoming trip. But God reminded me that he's always made sure what I needed was where it needed to be...right on time. HIS time.

Yeah Duh! I hit submit.

On Saturday I found out I'd won the camera! I was elated! (more on that later, since it's a whole post in itself.) Just hoped I wouldn't need to buy toothbrushes. I know God...I know...trust, faith, and all that jazz.

Sunday morning I got a comment on my blog from an old high school classmate. (Lets keep that clear, I'm the old one, she's not!) She was sending one order of 48 toothbrushes. Later that night I got another email, saying 288 toothbrushes were on their way! Today the company called me (by phone. Where did they get my number?) to verify the shipping address and to tell me when I could expect them to arrive.

Another friend of mine, hearing that all the toothbrushes had been donated, gave money for us to purchase school supplies for the kids who are being provided scholarships. God did MORE than 300. Of course he did.

God is so good, isn't he? I have A LOT of trouble stepping out in obedience. In fact, I'm struggling with an issue at this very moment. Because I'm feeling selfish and maybe a little bit entitled. And yet, God just showed me what to do.

Adoption transitions

My bloggy friend Jennifer asked a good question. I started to answer in the comments, but decided to just make a blog post out of it. Because I can! LOL

Jennifer asked, "Do you attribute these behaviors to DS or typical newbie home issues? Just curious."

Jennifer, this is TOTALLY adoption/transition related issues. Here's what I think: On his first day alone at school, Axel had no idea if THIS was his "new place". Where he'd be staying. Not until he came home on the bus again and again did he understand that this was just part of his day, not yet another new home.

Axel really needed the lines drawn in the sand for him there. "You can do this. You CANNOT do this."

He had SO many new experiences and expectations put upon him.  He'd never had to sit in a group and listen to a teacher before.

He'd never had to sit at a table with a group of children he didn't know and do the same activity they were doing.

He'd never had to walk in a line.

He'd never had to follow the directions of a phy ed. teacher.

He'd never had to eat lunch with 200 very noisy elementary students, finish quickly, get dressed and get outside for recess.

He'd never had to be on a playground with so many children at once....and follow RULES...which were never explained to him nor would he understand.

He'd never had to do ANY of  those things before.

So, this was his way of asking, "What AM I allowed to do here?" He also got to learn that Mama and Papa are connected to school even when he can't see us. Sometimes Mama just appears around a corner when you happen to be acting up! Ultimately, he is accountable for his behavior and Mama and Papa are who he'll have to answer to later on.

I AM very glad that I got to go along with him those first two days. Staff was able to see what he is CAPABLE. That when he choose to be horrible, it was exactly that...a choice. Axel KNOWS how to behave and follow rules, as long as he knows what those rules are.

I expected that after a weekend, today would be like starting all over for him and I'd be getting a phone call. Nope. I got Nuthin! I can only ASSUME he had a good day because even though I'm putting a communication notebook in his bag, nobody wrote in it. (I'm a tad irritated with this. This is VITAL for continuing language growth! I can't ask him about his day because he can't tell me anything...but if I have *some* information to go on, I can ask leading questions. For example, if his teacher writes that today they learned about rain, I could ask him, "Did you talk about rain today?"

I wish I could put my feelings about this placement into writing. Well, I have once, but it was to the special ed coordinator and ended up printing out to 3 single spaced pages long! (ouch!) I'm now "that mom" that staff is talking about, I'm sure! It is flat out the wrong placement for him. Period. And I'm trying to do something about it, but it's not happening fast enough for me.

End of the Week Update

Well, I see my 30 day blogging challenge lasted a whole 5 days. LOL I'll see if I can get it caught up this weekend. This week has just been very busy, and mentally exhausting. Axel is is learning he DOES have free will.

As you may recall, on Monday and Tuesday I went to school with Axel. Just 1/2 days each time, letting him experience the bus, the playground, lunch...and a CLASSROOM! He did fantastic those two days. He was perfect, really. But I warned the staff: "The child you see now is NOT who you will have in school tomorrow when I'm not here. Just say'in!"

On Weds he had to go all by himself. Things did not go so well. It was horrible, in fact. Even though he APPEARED very happy (laughing hysterically, really) at his own antics all day, I knew it was very stressful for him. When he came home on the bus, he was all smiles to his driver, then he turned and saw me and instantly the guilty face appeared. I took this as a GOOD sign! It means he was connecting all that had happened during the day to consequences later on. He was very solemn as he took my hand and we headed up the driveway. When we got to the house I said, "Axel, today at school was not good. (we have to choose our words carefully to make sure he understands.) Now you will need to sit." and he took his place on "the spot" for 5 minutes. When his time was up, I gave him a hug, assured him that I loved him, then told him he could go play. Later we discovered what he'd been up to while he was playing quietly in his room. This is a child who is learning that he does have free will and he can choose his own behavior. Peeing is something he has 100% control over, so he utilized his control.

Thursday I went to school and lurked in the hallways the entire day. The plan was that I be nearby so that when Axel's behavior started to escalate, I could step in right away instead of waiting until his energy level was over the top. There were only two times staff asked me to step in, and both times he was completely shocked to see me, and his eyes said, "Where the heck did YOU come from?" When I did appear, he immediately stopped what he was doing. Like I said, I only had to intervene twice. Still, Axel was stressed. How do I know? Because he wet his bed that night.

Friday was a MUCH better day. I went to school around 11:00, which is when he'd started having trouble the previous two days. Only this time he held himself together. I stayed until he came in from Recess. The day before had been difficult for staff to get him in and I had to intervene. This time he came right in, put his basketball away where it belongs, and headed for the doors. I met him as he came in, "Hi Axel! Hey, I hear you're having an amazing day! Good for you buddy!" and gave him a big hug.
Still, the day was stressful for him. And how do I know? Because this time he pooped in his bed (in his pajamas.) I'm almost certain he was still awake when he did this, but I didn't discover it right away so I have no way of knowing. It seemed to me, by his actions, that Axel was drawing a line in the sand. "This is my side and that is yours. I control what happens on my side, and you control what happens over there!"

Tonight, Saturday night. It's just the kids and I. Angela was dancing around downstairs and Axel got into the tub for a bath. I listened to him happily play in there for about 15 minutes when I went to get him out. Much to my surprise, Axel had exhibited even MORE...ahem..."control" while he was in the tub, and he was now happily dumping water over it! As soon as he saw me he started crying. Guess who spent 1/2 hour cleaning poop out of the tub? It wasn't me! Well...I did had to finish up the job.

I'm pretty sure all this behavior is tied to Axel having control over something in his life. His world has just gotten much bigger and it's a little overwhelming out in that world!

So, that's what I've been doing with my time this week. What are YOU up to this weekend?

Destination Revealed!

For the past couple of months I've been hinting at an upcoming trip. I've posted pictures like these:

What in the world do they mean?

A couple of months ago it was made clear to me that I need to go back to Serbia. I am not done there. And as I opened my mind to what God was showing me, things started happening. First, my good friend Kaci, who also wanted to return to Serbia, wandered into some God orchestrated connections. (and really, they just keep happening!)

Watch this video:


Airline Ambassadors has been in the process of starting a program in Serbia, and they invited Kaci and I to help them get it going. In fact, they handed Kaci the position of Serbia Program Coordinator.

I knew right away that Airline Ambassadors was meant to connect with Cherish Our Children International (COCI). Once that connection was made, everything snowballed!

On April 30th myself, Kaci, and a team of eight other people will be boarding another plane for Belgrade, Serbia. From there will will travel to Kostanjica in the Republic of Srbska, where COCI has established a school for special needs children. Kaci and I will support the medical team while they conduct a clinic to do medical screenings for approximately 300 children from the region. We will also be meeting with several dignitaries to discuss issues related to orphan care.

But that's not all! This is just the first of FOUR trips planned for the next year, and God is going to do some great works through them!

This is where the 300 toothbrushes come in. We still need them! Someone asked me the other day if I've met the goal yet. Sadly, are no toothbrushes coming in. If you have ordered toothbrushes, please drop me a note at deanleah at comcast.net to let me know.

We're also still looking for a couple of medical professionals. We really need and AUDIOLOGIST and a SPEECH PATHOLOGIST. (yes, earlier I had different professions listed. Go with me here.)

If you are interested in donating toothbrushes, are or know of medical professionals who would like to join us, please drop me a note at deanleah @comcast.net If you could help me spread the word by posting this to your facebook or twitter accounts, that would really help!

Also, my friend Kaci has an awesome post explaining more of the details of our trip. Please visit her blog!

Secret Keepers?

I've never heard of "My Secret Keeper Girl" before, but my friend Renee is talking about it on her blog. It looks really interesting, and something to look into for Angela. Renee also has a My Secret Keeper Girl give away going on, check it out!

$100 Giveaway!!

I have a $100 give away going on at my other blog site. What other blog site? I know, right?  LOL Well, you can find it here! When you get there, check out the links geared to a special group of moms!

*Edited to add*:  I thought it was strange nobody was commenting!!!! Apparently there was a problem with the comment section on that blog. It's all fixed now. :-)

The Mystery

In the almost 4 months Axel  has been home, we have not had one single toileting issue during the day. We did have to teach him how to go standing up, and deal with some stubbornness, but never had an accidents.

I was gone for part of the evening, so Dean did dinner with the kids, etc. When I got home Axel was already in his pajamas. He usually likes to hang out with us and watch TV in the evening, but tonight Dean said he sat for only a few minutes after dinner then headed to his bedroom to play.

VERY unusual for him to do this at night.

Imagine our surprise tonight when Dean went to tuck Axel into bed and found his bed soaking wet. Freshly soaking wet. Just the comforter, nothing else. As soon Axel realized we knew this, the guilty face and tears showed up. I pulled his clothes he'd taken off out of the hamper, and they were dry.

Axel went to bed without a blanket.

(although he never sleeps with one on, later after he's asleep I'll put one over him.)

I think putting him into school just upped the ante around here in all kinds of ways. This is going to be our next battle of the wills, I think.

Blissfully ignorant

That is how I spent the majority of my day today. Blissfully ignorant of what was happening outside of my own little bubble. I put a smart ass comment on Facebook that said,  " Just in case you wanted to know...I am in the grocery store...ALONE!!!" I came home and put dinner in the crock pot, made a bunch of necessary phone calls regarding Axel's school placement, and just generally putzed around.

Then I remembered I needed to get new work-out shoes because I'm start working out again tomorrow. I was browsing through a store, and was *just* opening my twitter app because I wanted to post, "Shopping for NOTHING in Target...BECAUSE I CAN!" when my phone rang.

It was Axel's teacher. I had a hard time hearing her because of this screaming in the backround that sounded a lot like a child being murdered. "Leah...We need help!" she said. "Is that HIM I hear????" I asked. "Yes, that's him. All the other kids have been removed from the room to keep them safe."

O....M.....G

"I'll be there in 5 minutes." I called the school office and told them they're going to see my fly in the door but I was NOT stopping to sign in. I got there, raced down the hall, passing Axel's class who was now sitting in another hallway trying to have a snack.

I quietly opened the classroom door, and there sat Axel at the table, having a snack, arm cocked to throw his cracker. He jumped when he heard, "WHAT are you DOING?" and immediately put his hands in his lap and got the guiltiest look ever on his face.

"What do you think you're doing? You do NOT behave like this in school. Now you will SIT!" I pulled his chair away from the table and turned him to face the wall. "You will NOT behave like this in school. This is NO!"

And he cried for the first time all day.

Apparently this behavior started before lunch, and it was now 2:45. He attacked kids, pulled hair, lunged at anyone who came into his space. Go read this post, and it will give you and idea of what they were dealing with. And I'm laughing at the fact the district didn't give him a 1:1 aid. The child cleared the classroom!!! And, staff couldn't do a CPI hold on him (like I did in the post I linked to) because of his neck.

So back to my arrival upon the scene....

I told his teacher it was now safe to bring the other kids back in. There would be no more problems as long as I was there. (Where's my super hero cape?) The staff sat the other kids down at the table with puzzles, and we made a HUGE deal out of these fun puzzles. Axel loves puzzles. I went over to him, "No puzzles for you. You are sitting."

And he got huge crocodile tears and his chin quivered.

Impact.

After a few minutes I asked him, "Are you ready to try again?" and he signed, "Again". He came to the table, sat down, and nicely did puzzles for about 15 minutes. It was time to go home, and we decided he should ride the bus home so he doesn't think Mom will come pick him up when he behaves like this (though for him, the preferred thing is to ride the bus. Still, don't want to create habits.)  His teacher asked him, "Are you going to have a better day tomorrow?" and he got that huge guilty look on his face again.

I told his teacher I was going to have them take him to the bus as usual, and I would hang back. He must have thought I left because he started acting up just as he was stepping on the bus. I hollered, "Axel! Get on the bus!" and he got up those steps faster than I thought he was capable of.

Tomorrow there is a new plan in place. I will be going to school, but arriving after Axel gets there so he doesn't know I'm there. I'll be hanging out in the hallway so I can make a sudden appearance should the need arise. He's going to learn very quick that just because he's at school doesn't mean Mama and Papa don't  know what's going on.

Re: 300

I posted this last week, but didn't have a shipping address. Now I do so I'm reposting. :-)

In some economically challenged parts of the world, oral hygiene is not routinely taught to children. Axel is a prime example of this!

The makers of the Firefly toothbrush have designed a brush with a built-in, very fun timer. The Firefly toothbrush has a little light in the handle that stays lit up for one full minute, encouraging the child to brush as long as it is lit up. (or to start the lit timer again and brush longer!) This is crucial for parts of the world where children might never have seen a toothbrush before, and oral hygiene isn't routinely taught.

A couple of months ago I did a post about the number 300. Guess what? I haven't forgotten that number. In fact, it has become even more significant!

I need to COLLECT 300 toothbrushes!

I have found a site where boxes of 48 Firefly toothbrushes can be ordered for a very reasonable price. They also have bulk orders of travel size toothpaste available. If you are interested in donating toothbrushes or toothpaste, you will get a receipt for your donation from  Cherish Our Children International, which is a 501c3 organization. 

Donations would need to be in by April 25th.  (That is not a lot of time, is it?) If you would like to include SMALL toys or trinkets (like you might put in a child's birthday party goodie bag) you're welcome to do so. Donations can be shipped to:

Leah Spring
P.O Box 211174
St Paul, MN 55121

So what am I doing with all of this? Well...lets just say it goes back to these posts, and there will be more details coming soon! Mark your calendars for April 30th when I can post some GREAT news!!

All By Himself

Today is a BIG day for Axel! Today he spreads his wings and goes to school all by himself. I'm so excited for him!

Mom has to get that "First day by yourself" video, of course.

He couldn't believe I wasn't getting on the bus with him! Oh, the grin on his face was priceless! It said, "Oh, no Mom? I am going to have FUN! (insert evil laugh here)" As soon as he realized I wasn't coming along, he started bossing the bus driver around. Little stinker.

I wish I could say I was comfortable with his classroom placement. I'm not. I'm still trying to decide if I'm making a huge mistake by sending him. He's come SO FAR behaviorally, and after my observations in the classroom over the past two days, he will be at significant risk of loosing the ground he's gained. Yes, he'll learn how a school functions....in a grossly understaffed classroom with teachers who can't communicate with him. This is NOT the fault of the district. Axel poses some very unique challenges to the district right now, that they've never dealt with before. Axel doesn't "fit" into any of the programs (and there is a wide range of programs in our district!) The number one problem is the fact Axel's primary communication is ASL, and he's growing vocabulary every day. Except that he doesn't have a hearing loss. That one tiny piece makes the whole communication issue with school muddy. I have another post coming about this, I'm just not sure what's ok to say here, since there are some people from the district who read my blog.

Don't think I'm leaving this alone! Those of you who've been reading here for any length of time know me better than that. Axel's needs will (eventually) be met.

Day 6

This post is part of a 30 day blog series.

Day 6: Picture of something you love. 


Well, I could post the obvious: pictures of my family. Those are the most important things in my life, of course. But what about something that is unique to me? I didn't have to think about this very long.

That's Nooner, loaded for a 2,000 mile epic journey with a group of women who I love. I'd never met them before that day, but I loved them just the same. They are my sisters in spirit. They "get" me. We are members of the F.R.O.G.S. There is only one way to get into the F.R.O.G.S., and the initiation requirements are secret, but when you've met the requirement, you can be sure you'll be welcomed with open arms. 

I'm going to repost something I wrote a few years ago that was published in Biker Alley magazine (which is no longer in print.)

......................................................................................................................

May 2007

Almost a year ago I reached one of my "Before I turn 40" goals. I took a motorcycle safety class and earned my "M" on my driver's license. I think I unconsciously set this goal way back when I was a teenager and I rode behind my mom, but later as an adult and mother of 5 young kids myself it seemed an impossible goal. Then, at age 35, I found myself divorced and with every-other weekend to myself. I started dating again, and one of the "prerequisites" of anyone I dated was that, not only did he need to have a bike himself, but he needed to ride regularly as well. It never occurred to me to get my own!

One of the men I dated had a sport bike (aka crotch rocket) and I found I loved the speed and rush of adrenaline that came with the ride. I even contemplated owning one myself, but our relationship was short-lived and suddenly that particular type of bike didn't seem to fit me anymore. As any adrenaline junkie will tell you though, it's highly addictive. The goal was now firmly etched into my soul.

Then I met Dean. Not only did he ride a Harley, but his entire extended family did as well! Dean and I fit together like a hand and glove. We rode together on his bike like we'd been doing it all our lives. What Dean didn't know was that riding behind him was a woman who was starting to have issues. Control issues, that is.

Like most people, when I'm riding behind, I loose myself to my thoughts. (Ok, I have a tendency to sing because Dean can't hear me!) I can look at the scenery and just enjoy it. Once in awhile we can have a conversation, but usually in broken sentences, or bits and pieces at a stoplight. Mostly though, I'm just by myself on the back of the bike. If I really want to feel "connected" to him, I can put my arms around him, or give him a squeeze with my thighs. Sometimes he might reach back and put his hand on my lower leg (the only part of me he can reach.). Those actions, however simple they may seem, are very meaningful forms of communication when on a bike.

Unfortunately there came a time when I developed awareness for other things around us. I've always had a watchful eye for hazards when on the back of the bike, but it's not been 100% up to me, so I could slack off now and then. But one day, out of the blue, I became very nervous. It was like somewhere deep within me a switch was flipped, causing me to be hyper aware of everything. Does he see that car? That pothole? That gravel on the inside of the corner? How good is he at quick stops? My ears became aware of his shifting, both up and down, which meant I also noticed differences if there was a problem.

I thought it was just me being paranoid. That is until I started talking to women riders who told me, "That's how I knew it was time to get my own bike!" So I took their advice, and got my license just before my 40th birthday.

The first few times out, (once I got over the fear of our daunting driveway!) I went alone, sticking to side streets where 50 mph felt very
fast! It didn't take me long to venture further, and on roads that had a 55 mph speed limit. My time is limited to ½ hr here and there squeezed in after household chores and while my daughter is still in school, but even so within a couple of weeks I was able to put a couple hundred miles on my bike.

One day, shortly after my daughter left for a weekend with her dad, Dean came home early so we could go for a ride. It was to be our "maiden voyage"; our first trip together on separate bikes. He decided we would ride to the home of his parents just 15 minutes away. "But we're taking the long way Honey. We're going on the freeway."

"The freeway? I've haven't done that yet and it's getting to be rush hour!"

His replied, every so calmly, "That's exactly why we're doing it. I don't want you alone the first time. It's only a mile or so of freeway. You'll be fine. So let's go!"

Suddenly I didn't want to go on this particular ride, but I wasn't about to let him see my fear either. After all, I do have control issues, and I'm highly competitive!

I quickly realized I needed a new goal, and it was to be to keep up with Dean. I knew he wouldn't go too fast for me, and I knew his ultimate goal was my safety. But I also knew if I did anything stupid, or showed fear, word would travel through the entire family before my feet even touched the pavement again. So keep up I did. For the entire mile and a half I stuck to him like glue at 70 mph, and even changed lanes once to get around a slower moving vehicle! I felt like I'd "arrived" and was now a legitimate rider.

The next day we ventured out more. This time it was on a three lane interstate with all kinds of cars (and semis!) merging and exiting. We
switched lanes more than I've ever dreamed we needed to, and I'm pretty sure he did this on purpose. I really didn't pay attention to WHERE we were going, because I was too busy keeping up to Dean, and staying away from the tires of big trucks. But I did it! All 60 plus miles of it. And along the way, I discovered something I never knew about the gift of riding my own bike.

You see, my daughter has a disability, and my life with her is often very complicated by doctor appointments, school meetings, and worry about whatever her current medical crisis is. I rarely get a break from her care other than a couple of hours each week. Even when I was riding behind on Dean's bike, getting "lost in my thoughts" often meant getting lost in my thoughts about the latest school report, or doctor's diagnosis, or how to help her achieve the next much-needed independent living skill.

What I discovered on my own bike is there isn't one single opportunity to think about my worries of the day or week. Every fiber of my being is involved in the ride. My nose smells everything there is to smell; from the diesel fuel of the truck next to me, to the lilac bushes in full bloom on the side of a country road.

My ears hear the subtle changes in my engine, they hear when I need to shift gears up or down. They revel at the powerful sound that comes from a fast acceleration.

My hands grip the handlebars, doing a subtle dance between brake and clutch. With just a very slight change I can accelerate quickly, or let the engine speed slow me down. My feet join in the dance, braking and shifting as the need arises.

My body feels the changes in the engine, the rumble of the exhaust. It feels the changes in the wind, instinctively adjusting to keep the bike upright, becoming one with the bike through curves in just the right way so as to make it one smooth and beautiful move.

My heart and mind are in the ride, taking a break from all the world has offered to me on any given particular day. Leaving it all behind, trading it in for the feeling of freedom, power, independence and pride that come from riding alone.

At the end of the ride, when the kickstand goes down and I take the key out of the ignition, I'm ready to take on the world again, and all that it has to offer. I'm ready to be a mom again, refreshed and energized to live each day to the fullest.

1st Day of School!

Yesterday was a big day for Axel! His VERY FIRST day of school. Ever. In his entire life. At 10 years old Axel got to experience what every child in the U.S. has a right to. An education.

We're easing him in though. Yesterday I rode the bus to school with him, and we only stayed at school for a couple of hours. Today we're going in later (actually leaving in a few minutes) and will have lunch at school and stay for the afternoon, then I'll ride the bus home with him.

Tomorrow he is on his own.

This will only last a few weeks, until his surgery on May 16th. We wanted him to get a taste of school, understand the routine, etc. so in the fall when school starts up again, and he HAS to go by himself (because it'll be my first day back too)  it's not a 100% brand new experience.

I have SO much to say about Axel's school placement, both good and bad, but I just don't know where to start. Right now, for me, the bad is outweighing the good. It's not the district's fault, and it's not the fault of his new teacher. It is the fact that Axel poses some very unique challenges to the classroom. Being non-verbal, AND learning to understand English, PLUS learning to sign, and NEVER having attended school before. Well. That is just a lot of stuff going on.

I'll post more about this later, but for now I'll leave you with some pictures.

Waiting for the bus.

As we were waiting for the bus, I don't think he really understood what was happening. Why were we standing at the end of the driveway? In the COLD? Finally I heard the bus and said, "Axel...what's that? Do you hear that??? Oh, it's the BUS!! For YOU!! Oh how his eyes lit up, and he hopped up and down the way he does when he's demanding something happen NOW! "Hey bus, stop HERE!!!!" As the bus pulled up his driver was waving to him, giving him thumbs up, etc. 

The driver and aid were very nice, and patient with him as we put his harness on. (he'll be in a 5 point on the bus, for everyones safety. ;-) During the ride I lost count how many times the driver asked him, "How ya doing Axel buddy?" And gave him a thumbs up in the mirror. 

Riding the bus. He loved it. He'll love it more when I'm not with him and he can be a turkey!

Miss Tough

Last night was the awards banquet for Angela's floor hockey team. She plays on Junior Varsity. The varsity team took second place in state last week! Every day Angela tells me, "Next year, I play varsity goalie!" Umm...yeah. Those kids are tough! Well, maybe someday Angela will get the chance, since she was awarded, "Miss Tough" award for her team.

Day 5

This post is part of a 30 day blog series.

Day 5: My siblings

This is where you get to learn how complicated...and wonderful...my family is. My family story is long, there is just no way around it. I have to go back about 55 years to tell it.

When my mom was 18, she was dating a man and got pregnant. As was often the case in the 50's, when an unwed mother was pregnant she was moved to another community to have the baby so nobody would know. My mom moved down to the cities, and when the baby...a girl...was born she was placed for adoption. She never told anyone.

It wasn't long before she and my dad met. My brother Lynn was born just before their 1 year anniversary, followed 19 months later by my sister Sandie, then 7 1/2 years later by me, and we all lived happily ever after!

But wait, you read this post, and now you're confused, right? SO WERE WE!!!!

When I was around 15 or so, while digging around in boxes I had no business being in, I stumbled upon some confusing information about my mom. She referred to having 4 children, but...there were only 3 of us. In my young mind I decided she'd had another baby who'd died. Then when I was 17 and getting into my own trouble, my mom, in an attempt to use shocking news to set me straight, told me that she'd had a baby she placed for adoption. HA! The answer to the secret was revealed. But I was a cool cucumber, and not about to let on to mom that I knew anything. I gave no response, which left HER very confused. LOL She expected questions, instead I gave her the cold shoulder. She thought I hated her.

Just two months later, in my senior year of high school, I came home from school one day and my mom met me at the door. "I got a letter today." She said. You see, my mom had always kept her adoption records open. All those years, any time she moved, she contacted Lutheran Social Services and gave them the new address just in case her daughter ever wanted to contact her. This day a letter had arrived saying her daughter wanted to meet her. We met my sister Ila, and her baby Adam 2 months later. Ila has been a part of our family ever since.

So now I had a new sister Ila, my brother Lynn and my sister Sandie. We're still short one sibling, aren't we?

I was 20 years old, married, and had just had my first baby when Lynn, Sandie and I were called to dinner at my parent's home. There was another secret to tell....

When Dad met my mom, he'd been engaged to another woman and the wedding was right around the corner.  Dad broke off the engagement, and many family discussions with his parents ensued! A few weeks later the other woman told him she was pregnant. Dad didn't believe her and refused to go ahead with the wedding, and instead married my mom a couple months later. About a year down the road my grandmother called my dad. She'd just seen that baby and, having had 11 children who shared familial traits, there was no doubt in her mind that baby was my dad's. No contact was ever made, and the issue was dropped (but not forgotten!)

So here we were, many years later, having been summoned to dinner. My dad  had a son. Jeff. Dad had already met him, and we were going to meet him the following week. Meeting Jeff was a little freaky. It was like meeting my dad when he was 28 years old. Jeff is JUST like my dad and my brother Lynn. He is very close to our family, and sometimes we forget that we weren't raised together.

Now you know how all my siblings came to be, let me tell you a little about each one.

Ila, my oldest sister, is....50-something. (I won't tell her secrets. LOL) She is married to Bob, and they have 3 children and 2 grandchildren. She lives out of state. Ila has done a fantastic job of raising her children who are all now adults and on their own. Her kids and her family were her priority, and it shows.  I haven't gotten to see her for a couple of years. We used to talk all the time and I miss our long talks!

Jeff is next in line at 52 (I think.)  He is a programming engineer for a local T.V. broadcasting station. He is married to J'Lynne. Oh wait, I forget that's not her name. It's really "Lynne", but we already had a Lynn and got tired of referring to her as "Jeff's Lynne" all the time, so within a very short time she was renamed "J'Lynne". The have been married for (12?) years. Jeff and J'Lynne tried unsuccessfully for many years to have children. Then J'Lynne was diagnosed with MS. They have a beautiful home and an adorable toy poodle Miko.

Then there is Lynn. Also  52. (this is where my mom says people are not allowed to do the math!) He has had an interesting life, much of which I'm not at liberty to share. LOL He has never been married, and as far as we know he doesn't have any children. LOL Lynn now lives on my parents' property and does a lot of the grounds keeping. (there is a lot to do!) He recently had a health scare that caused him to make some dramatic changes in his life. My parents LOVE having him living on the property. (not in the main house.)  He gets SO much done there, and is really a blessing to them. There are some perks that come with living with Mom and Dad though, and my sister and I are trying to figure out if there is room for us to live up there too.

Next up is my sister Sandie. She started her own blog based on her age, so I'm allowed to say she turned 50 last year. Sandie has nine children. Yes nine. There is a his/mine thing, plus the four she and her ex husband adopted. Sandie is married to Bob, and she has 7 grand children. (Gasp! How did my sister become a grandmother to 7????) and I'm sure there are many more to come.

Then there is me, and you know all about me already! LOL We've learned over the years that being called to dinner could possibly mean there is another secret coming out of the closet, but you know what? We sure love our family! Considering all the different influences, our family could very well be a dysfunctional one, but it's not. We can communicate with each other, and we don't argue. We don't always agree, those things certainly don't stop us from supporting one another. It's because of my family that, when I started dating after my divorce, I wouldn't bother with anyone who didn't have a good relationship with his own family. Dean loves his family as much as I love mine!

Day 4

This post is day 4 of a 30 day series.

My parents

My parents are Ed and Dawn. This year they will celebrate their 52nd wedding anniversary. I think that speaks volumes.

My dad was raised on a dairy farm in rural Wisconsin, and was one of 11 children. His dad's name is Axel. :-) My dad is full of stories of growing up on the farm, and the antics he and his brothers got into on a regular basis. We have our favorite stories of course, like "Face meat and boughten bread".

My mom was raised in Northern Minnesota on a resort her parents owned. Her dad passed away when she was just 18.

When my mom was 19 she was working in the big city of Minneapolis as a paralegal. She and her friend Joyce had to get a signature from a client. They were sitting at a red light, waiting to left. They heard someone whistle and turned to see two young, handsome men in lane next to them. They all flirted the duration of the red light, and when it turned green my mom turned left, and boys pulled out of their lane and followed them!

When they got the clients house, the girls were a little miffed about these guys following them. As it turned out, they needed someone to witness the signature so she told the guys to come up to the man's apartment with them. Once the business was done and they were back by their cars talking and flirting. Finally the girls said they needed to leave, but the boys said, "Well...umm....we have NO idea where we are!" These farm boys had driven to the big city for an adventure, and boy did they get one! LOL

My parents were married just 3 months later. My dad's friend who was with him in the car was George. He married my mom's friend Joyce, and they just celebrated their 51st anniversary too!

I have 2 brothers and 2 sisters and I was the complete surprise baby. My mom was determined she was DONE after my sister was born, so she was a little miffed when I arrived 7 1/2 years later. She wasn't happy about it. She told God, "If I have to be pregnant again, can you make it a girl, and make her look like me?" It just so happens I do look just like my mom, with some of my dad's features thrown in. I totally have my dad's nose. LOL

I was very close to my dad when I was little. Being the baby of the family, he called me "baby"...well...only after all the others had moved out of the house and I was the last one at home. Because of age differences, I ended up being raised very much like an only child from the time I was about 11 or 12. My siblings, having already graduated or in their final years of high school, certainly didn't have time for the little sister. I was on my own. A lot. My mom had her career, and I often felt like I didn't really fit into her life. I became a very independent child. Sometimes a bit too independent, I think. Even now as an adult I sometimes have to remember I have a partner who I need to communicate with.

My dad owned a very successful luxury homebuilding company with 2 of his brothers. My mom was a multi-million dollar real estate broker for many years. Thanks to the hard work of my parents I was raised in a home with money but I never knew it. We were not raised having things handed to us. We were taught we had to work for what we got so that we'd have pride in ownership. Life was good.

My dad retired about 15 years ago, and my mom retired from real estate about 25 years ago and decided to go to bible college.  They now live in Norther Minnesota. It's only 4 hours away from us, but we somehow have trouble getting up there more than a couple times per year. My mom is very busy, as she's now pastor of a church in their town, and she also travels all over the world preaching the Gospel  of Jesus Christ. My dad always has some project or another going on, and spends a fair amount of time on the golf course. Dean is determined to beat him at the game, but I told him if he wants to remain the favorite son-in-law he better not!

It's interesting to me that so much of my life has been a parallel to my parents. When my parents were 40 they bought motorcycles, and I grew up on the back of them from the time I was 12. Because of that, bikes are in my blood! I got my own bike when I was 39.  Another similarity is our children. Like me, Angela is 7 years younger than her next brother, (though she was very much planned and took two years of trying to conceive to get her!) and has been raised very much as an only child since she was about 8 when her brothers moved to their dads.

I adore my  parents. My dad was the best dad ever. He was calm and quiet. If we got into trouble, Mom would do the lecturing, but eventually dad would speak up, and we knew that when Dad spoke it was like God himself laying down the law. While I may not have been close to my mom was child, as and adult I know I can call my mom any time and ask her for advice. One of my ex's, thinking he was insulting me, would often say things like, "You're just like your mother!" I took it as a compliment. I have a lot of respect for my parents. There are parts of their story that are not for telling here; things that could have easily destroyed their relationship, but they didn't let that happen. They are strong people, who have raised strong headed kids.

Say Yes