11

One year ago yesterday, Abel turned 10. For the first time in his life he had a Mama and Papa there to show him love on his birthday. Here is what I wrote on his big day last year:

Today our son turns 10 years old.
For 10 years he has never known love. He has never had a mother, a father, a family, a home.
He has never seen food prepared.
He has never seen a kitchen.
He has never seen a refrigerator full of food.
He has never had a real bath.
He has never gotten to lay in a tub full of water and watch the bubbles float around him.
He has never been tucked in at night with a kiss and a hug.
He has never had anyone to calm his fears in the middle of the night.
He has never NOT been thirsty.
His 10 years of waiting are over.

This birthday party was done for our benefit. It wasn't something Abel was used to seeing. Only the children who had families or regular visitors had birthday celebrations. Abel was scared to death by the attention. (the frosting on the nose is a tradition but I don't know it's meaning. When I find out, I'll edit here.)



That years seems forever ago. The scared little boy, who ruled his world by intimidating his caregivers, threatening them with tears, or heavy pieces of furniture.

Today he is 11. In one year his life has changed so much!

He has a mother, a father, a family, a home to call his own. A bed that ONLY he has ever slept in.

He helps prepare the food, and set the table and clear it too!

He loves to be in the kitchen.

He carries groceries in from the car and puts them away where they belong with very little help.

He enjoys a bath for a few minutes, but Abel is "all business" about most things in life so his baths are pretty quick. Splish, splash, rinse and get out!

He gets tucked in every single night, with a hug and a kiss, and "I love you."

You may remember this video, taken the first night we had custody of him. We are very familiar with institutional self-soothing behaviors, but we were shocked by the intensity of Abel's. He did this off and on all night long.


Every morning when Abel wakes up, the hair on the back of his head is a matted mess from this rolling, and once it got longer than an inch it would break off. Then one day about 3 months ago I realized the previous two mornings Abel's hair was not knotted. We watched him that night. Sure enough, Abel had quit rolling in the night! He sleeps soundly most of the night now.

Abel had no way to communicate when we met him, though he had come up with some gestures the institution staff recognized to have certain meaning but mostly he just mimed everything.

And now, one year later, he uses ASL sentences! "I need bathroom." and "I want drink please." "Outside go please." etc. He signs more than Axel and Asher do!

Abel has severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and anxiety associated with it. He is still hyper-vigilant but we have seen improvement from one year ago. In school he is trying so hard to be good, but the fact he is back in an institutional setting is very difficult for him. I debated keeping him home and homeschooling him. I know I could do a good job, but there will come a day when Abel will need to be with a caregiver other than Dean or I, and he is going to have to behave. Better for him to learn this now than in a couple of years when he is much bigger and stronger. Thankfully our school district has been very understanding of the challenges Abel faces due to his traumatic past. We are in very close communication, and there have been times when I'm at school every day of the week. It was especially rough for Abel while I was gone to complete Audrey's adoption. Not because he missed me, but because Mom, aka "the cop" was gone!

As far as attachment goes, this is a rough area for Abel. We do see see tiny glimpses that he is attaching to us, but he still struggles.  He is starting to give affection (this is new for him) but he doesn't know who to give it to. Dean is his first choice, but a teacher, or school support staff, or a stranger who comes to our door will do too! This is probably one of the most difficult skills to teach our adopted kids.  I have to say, in many ways Dean and I feel like we are tools to Abel's existence and nothing more.  We love him, we care for him with love, and we know that in his own way he loves us, but love is hard for Abel. Its something he isn't used to and so he resists it. It doesn't really matter to us if he never attaches to us. Our job is still the same.  Our job is to be his parents, whether he loves us or not. To teach him the skills he needs to be as independent as he is capable of being. At certain times it is clear Abel needs to disconnect from us and spend some time doing his own thing (usually stimming with a toy or ball) because that is what he spent 10 years doing and it is his default now. Every day we give him some time for this, particularly right after he comes home from school, and then we encourage him to join the family. Over the past year we have seen his alone time decreasing, and more often he brings his stimming toy out to the family area to be near us in his alone time. It is good to see, and gives us hope that one day he will let us in even more.

I've said it a thousand times, but I'm going to say it again. Adoption isn't easy. Adoption is trauma. Is Abel better off here than the institution? Absolutely! But the transition to a good place came with its own set of traumatic events. Abel had 10 years of nutritional, social, environmental and educational neglect. We will give him years of positive experiences to learn the things he was never given exposure to before.

And with that, I leave you with the birthday boy, so different in just one year. (please excuse my horrid singing!)

Abel was a bit annoyed when he came to breakfast and found balloons tied to his chair. 

Abel LOVES vehicles that little people can fit into. He gets very frustrated with vehicles that don't have people in them! He spends a lot of time looking inside them and trying to squeeze toy people that are too big into the tiny holes. He has really enjoyed these two vehicles so far, because he can open the doors and sit the people in seats. He tried to put his big toe in the bus, an attempt to get on, I think!

And of course, Audrey loved the birthday cake from her first American birthday party! 

Happy Birthday Abel! 

We are so proud of how far you've come! 

Discovering herself

Bringing a new child home is the most amazing experience, particularly if they lived a life deprived of normal childhood experiences. We do whatever we can to go back to infancy and toddlerhood, to work through all those stages so they can eventually move forward.

 On this day, Audrey discovered herself. 

What makes me smile?

I have so many reasons to smile, who run around our house just loving life. Clearly, God put them here just for that purpose.

Like this guy. Our young man. He's grown so tall, and so cool. 

And these two, off to a teen dance with their friends. 

And all of these people, who were playing trucks on the floor

and this blossoming relationship between the daddy and the daughter who wanted to play too

For these two, who love music and "Head Shoulders Knees and Toes" more than anyone I have ever met.

And this guy, smart as a whip, doing things we couldn't have imagined one year ago.

And these smiling faces at breakfast

And when I just need quiet, and time away from all the smiles, and I wake up with this beauty next to me, I'm so very thankful for all God has brought us through.

Feeding Update

If you followed my adoption blog, you know one of my biggest concerns about getting Audrey home was how to manage her feeding problems - or the huge mess created by them - on the plane. I don't think I have any videos of those first few day as she and I learned how to work with one another. Mostly it was me learning how she did/did not use her tongue to manage the food in her mouth.

After about the first week, we had our first breakthrough. Audrey was able to keep her tongue in while taking a bite. Within another day or so she was able to keep her tongue in while she chewed.
This video was around March 9th. Its also the first time she signed "more" independently and without prompting.


This video was taken on March 15th while we were still in Serbia.


Audrey has now been in my care for one month. She is closing her lips on the spoon, keeping her tongue in her mouth while she eats, and now is working on using utensils herself.


We have a long way to go, and the work is frustrating for both of us, but we're getting there. Whenever we bring a new child home, even when they're physically really small like Audrey now or Asher when he came home, we want them sitting at the table with the rest of us so they can see what eating at a table is supposed to look like. In the institution the children never have an opportunity to see how people eat, so how are they supposed to develop decent feeding skills? But it is clear to me that Audrey is noticing how everyone at our table eats and she is really trying hard.

The one area we continue to have major problems is drinking. Audrey is not drinking anywhere near enough fluids during the day. For awhile I was really pushing her limits, trying to get her tongue in when she drinks, but this just caused her to dig her heels in more and refuse to drink at all. I decided to let that go for now and just let her drink how she is comfortable and we'd work on it later. That has helped some but still she is only taking in about 1/4 of what she should be drinking on a daily basis. The problem with not drinking is most body systems don't work without fluids. I was starting to get really concerned and was going to take her into the doctor on Friday if she still wasn't drinking. Yesterday I decided thats it, she's not leaving the table after meals until she drinks her full serving of liquids at the meal. Yesterday was a day of struggle as she threw down the gauntlet, testing to see if I really meant business. Yes, dear child, I really do! (and that snow in the background? All gone today!!)

Yesterday was the first day since I got custody of Audrey that she's had an adequate amount of fluids. Today I had no problems getting her to drink while at the table, and low and behold, all systems are working again tonight. ;-)

She is one smart cookie, this one! I'm so very proud of her. Its stressful to move to the other side of the world, with people you can't understand, then have demands put upon you that you don't completely understand. But Audrey is persistent, and she enjoys feeling success. She's an amazing kid. 

Audrey: One Week Home

I suppose, from the  last few blog posts, it seems as if I'd be laying in bed, hiding from the world as I come to grips with the fact I have breast cancer.

BWAHAHAHAHA

Who has time for cancer????? Certainly not me! Not us!

No, we have been enjoying this new little person who just waltzed into our family and is making herself at home. I cannot even begin to describe the light and joy this child has brought with her. *Everyone* in the family is enjoying her presence. Even Abel, who likes us to think he's not.

Our first night home Axel, Audrey and I all slept all night. That night I sank into our bed around 10:00 pm. I remember thinking "Oh man, I love my mattress. I love my leg pillow…." and the next thing I knew it was 6:00 a.m. and Dean was getting the kids up for school!

We jumped right back into our routine that day, with me doing breakfast for the kids and Dean putting everyone on the bus. Our course, our lives changed that day too.

I was so excited to discover I could get Audrey's hair into a pony! She left it alone all day long.

Asher is torn between wanting to be a big brother and help Audrey...

And wanting to go back to babyhood a bit. 

Audrey is making SO much progress in many areas. Because she spent 9 years always hungry, stealing food is a big problem. For the first few days, when we prepared meals we had to keep the food out of reach until we were ready to eat. Then one day she just didn't seem so anxious anymore. Now she waits patiently by her chair, not bothered by the fact the food is sitting out, right in reach. 

Audrey has also made HUGE gains in her eating skills! She is now using her lips on the spoon and learning all about using a fork and spoon. She'll be starting feeding therapy very soon so we can work on fine-tuning those skills.

Angela is really loving playing older sister to Audrey. The biggest adjustment for her has been that she cannot talk all night long. From Audrey's first night home Angela has slept quietly all night, without talking and keeping everyone up like she normally does. She and Audrey sleep peacefully all night long. 

It took several days before Abel seemed to notice that Audrey was in the house. This goes back to his inability to notice people unless they serve a purpose for him. But Audrey is hard to ignore, especially when she comes and sits herself on your lap! His facial expressions when this happens are priceless, and I hope to one day catch this on camera. He has been very careful with her which has been good to see. I moved all the toddler toys out of the boys' room and into the girls room so Audrey can play with them. The day I did this, later that night I discovered them all back on the shelves in the boys' room. Abel was not happy I moved things around. These are toys he doesn't care for, but he is very particular about where things go, and I had moved them! We repeated this several days. 

Axel had two weeks with Audrey in Serbia, so she's not so "new" to him anymore. Besides, he is a cool teenage boy now. But as he does with Asher and Abel, he will voluntarily help Audrey with her shoes, or getting her jacket on. Axel is a very good big brother to all the kids. 

Audrey does NOT like the dogs! The first time she saw them we experienced the girl's shriek for the first time! Oh man. Shatter glass, she can! She spent a few days changing direction if she realized one of the dogs was in her path, but now she will walk past them, and even push them out of the way a bit. Dudley is exceptionally tolerant of her, patiently laying his head on her lap even as she screams. Its much less "fear" now, and more "mad" that this dog is so persistent. LOL I have seen her very carefully trying to pet Dudley's soft hair, and I'm sure before too long she will fall in love with him. Zurri? Yeah she avoids little kids unless their face is messy with food. LOL The two big dogs are LOVING having a kid in a high chair again, laying beneath her to pick up all the dropped food. Roman is a bit leery of Audrey still, probably because he is a small dog and her reactions are not predictable. 

Audrey has mad a couple trips to the grocery store with me, and has learned how to walk with me holding the cart. One day I had to make a Target run with all the kids. Everyone did great, even Audrey who wasn't thrilled to be walking because she would prefer to be carried. Sorry Audrey, you're nine, and you'll have to walk around the store. Once she realized I was not going to carry her she did great and had fun walking with all of us. 

Audrey is smitten with her daddy and the feeling is mutual. She is such a happy, sunny, delightful child that it is hard not to get sucked into holding her all the time. She is learning to play with the other kids, and she and Asher can often be found leading one another around by the hand. We are making a conscious effort to spent time with the other kids 1:1, not only because of the addition of a new sister, but because of the general stress going on in the household right now. Next week will be difficult for everyone, Angela in particular. 

All in all, this first week with Audrey could not have been better. 

Reflecting

This is going to be a very "real" post. The hard things that we saw and thought during Abel's adoption process.

Somehow before we left I knew this trip was going to be different. I had been adamant that Dean come along on this trip when really he just wanted to stay home. Money was going to be tight but I didn't care. I didn't want to be alone this time. I also knew that if Dean didn't go through this whole process, instead just meeting Abel for the first time at the airport, that his ability to bond with this child was going to be difficult.

Back in December we received this picture of "B" - Bogdan.

We saw an awesome smile. We saw amazing eye contact. We saw lots of teeth. We saw a glowing spirit. We also saw "trouble". What we didn't know was this particular smile is his "Watch out!" smile! LOL

The day finally came, April 12th, when we met our son for the first time. When we first saw him he was sitting in a chair in the staff break room. He was dressed up nice in jeans and a denim shirt. I tried not to cry when I saw him sitting there as I tugged on the sleeve of Dean's shirt. "There he is honey!" Poor Dean, he was still trying to take in the environment, but I was on familiar territory.

We got a couple of quick hugs from him, then were ushered into a motor room. Unfortunately this was a room with equipment designed for infants and toddlers, and Abel was a big boy. Strong and burly, an absolute ball of energy. Oh the energy! We were astounded at his ability to communicate with us, gesturing and miming his orders to us. In the first 5 minutes he bit me in the knee. He hit us. He kicked us. He laughed in our faces. He exhausted us. He never stopped moving, evidenced by the fact we couldn't get a picture with him still.

The best word to describe him was "wild". He was extremely agitated. What we didn't know is he was missing his security item. They didn't let him have his block during this time, and we now know he was spending most of that visit asking for his trusty block. He was a whirlwind. He was naughty. He was what I expected and yet somehow worse. Keep in mind right outside the door, watching the entire visit,  were several social workers and psychologists. They would be writing a report of their impressions from this visit and sending it back to the ministry (like the state level) to let them know how it went. No pressure. No pressure at all.

Dean and I left that visit saying yes. Yes we would accept this child and continue with the process. We went home to our apartment and slept for several hours. The next day we returned for our second visit. This time we came armed with food and drink, planning to take him outside. We watched him interact with the caregivers, making demands upon them, and them giving him nearly everything he wanted. When it was time to go outside he pointed back to his room. That's when his caregiver handed us the block.

Our wild little boy. So hungry. So thirsty. I'll never understand the hunger. These facilities have money for food, but the nutritional value of what the children are fed is nearly nonexistent. The stealing of food  from one another, with nobody to defend the weaker ones. The "speed feeding", where the food is shoved into the mouths of children faster than they can swallow, causing them to sputter and choke because they don't even have time to breath, while most of the food falls back to the bowl being held under their chins. Abel was so thirsty that he tried to lap water from the puddles on the ground, including the puddle of bubble solution when he knocked it out of my hand. He tested everything to see if it was edible, including spots of bird poop on the ground.

Out on the playground the toys flew. Big, giant ride-on toys that he picked up and threw at us as if they were mere feathers. He bit. He hit. He scratched. He kicked. I wanted to start off on the right foot, making it clear to him from the very first moment that we wouldn't put up with this behavior. All while being watched from the sidelines; our ability to manage him judged, reports being written.

Dean and I were both afraid. Was this child too much for us? How could we get him home to the US? How could we even bring this feral child into an airport, much less spend hours upon hours in a plane?

On the third day Dean and I finally talked about our fears. We put it all on the table, and prayed, asking God to help us. The answer was immediate. The only way for us to do this was to get him out of the institutional environment as soon as possible.

The day we were allowed to take him to our apartment for the weekend we were very nervous. It's hard to take a child like this to someone else's home. We knew he had serious issues with food and worried that watching food be prepared would be too much for him. The very last thing were were told was, "He sleeps very well." That felt ominous to me. The institution sent us with a few diapers - which were way too small - so Dean and our friend ran to the store for bigger ones. They got the biggest size there, which barely fit around his waist.

At the apartment he wanted to touch e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. So many things were instantly put up high. He obsessed about drinking. We weren't in the door 10 minutes when he got hold of the crayons and colored on a table. That first night trying to get him to sleep was a miserable fail. We were told he was used to going to bed at 8:00. I think he finally fell asleep around 11:30 and he was awake at 4:30. After 10 years in the institution, how would he ever learn to sleep somewhere else?

This seems like it was all about OUR stress. I can only begin to imagine the fear this little boy felt. He'd been in the institution since he was born, and this was his very first night in a very strange environment with people he couldn't understand, foods he'd never tasted, a strange bed....alone. There wasn't another child an arms length away. It was dark. It smelled different. It sounded different. Anyone who thinks that adoption is all rainbows is naive. It is TRAUMA. While we were very excited about taking Abel out of the institution, there was nothing "good" about that day. It was scary, for all of us.

The next morning I was going to make a run to the mall for something similar to pull-ups. Dean was going to stay home with Abel but at the last minute he asked to come along. He wasn't ready to be home alone with him just yet, and really, neither was I. I also didn't think Abel was ready to be in the mall but we NEEDED those diapers. Dean and I each took a hand and I told our driver this would be the fastest trip to the mall he'd ever made. And that it was! In 15 minutes we were in 4 stores and had purchased diapers, socks, shoes and groceries.

We spent the next week taking many walks, learning to stay with Mom and Papa and, in preparation for airports, that holding a hand is not up for discussion. He learned to sit at the table and watch while food was prepared. He learned to eat at a normal rate of speed. He learned that when he goes to sleep at night we would still be there in the morning. At the one week mark we made a trip to the mall again andAbel was already much improved.

And here we are. Two weeks later on the other side of the world. Abel is a completely different child. I would have never guessed he would come so far so fast!!!! I think I could take him nearly anywhere at this point, as long as there are no large crowds. He is quick to take my hand when he's feeling nervous. He has bonded most with Asher and wants to be wherever Asher is.

If I want to introduce something new that I think might cause him to be afraid, I just let him watch Asher do it first.

He loves to have his teeth brushed now (I just had to have Asher go first.)

He goes to bed without crying, he is wearing underwear during the day, and although there are a lot of accidents, today was only the third day and already we see improvement. He has very little anxiety about food anymore, and can sit and watch us prepare a meal without all the worried noises.

He may not know the order of each day, but he knows the routine for each event. He knows where he sits at the table, he knows that after breakfast we get dressed, he knows the routine for brushing teeth, he get get himself on/off the toilet managing his clothing on his own. He knows where he sits in the car and he knows when the other kids go to school that they will come home later in the day. (he frequently checks for the bus out the front window. LOL) He is letting go of his block a bit. Today we went for a hike and he left his block in the car without worrying or asking about it even once.

We are so glad we decided to add Abel to our family. He fits in so perfectly here! When God told us "adopt!", he didn't say it would be easy, he only said that it would be right.

One Week Home

One week. I can't believe we've been home a whole week, and yet we've been so busy it feels like we've been home a month. This time of year is crazy busy for us, with Angela in Adaptive softball that has two weeks left, and then she and Axel both started Special Olympics softball that just started. The overlap complicates the schedule, plus add in Special Olympics track two nights a week for Angela, Axel and Asher. The only night we don't have anything going on is Weds and every other Friday! Mixed in with our busy schedule is one new little boy who himself is quite busy.

So how is everyone adjusting?

Angela: She's an old hat at this "new brother" business now. She has taken everything in stride. And, just as when we brought home first Axel then Asher, she hasn't altered her routine very much. Originally we thought we would keep the kids home from school a couple days so everyone could adjust, but upon arriving home both Dean and I felt the need to get back to our normal routine. Angela was anxious to go back to school and tell her friends that her new brother was home! When she left for school that morning she made sure I knew Abel should meet her at the bus when she came home in the afternoon. We did just that, and she was thrilled to see him. The first morning at breakfast she wanted to sit right next to Abel, but she soon discovered it wasn't really a good idea since she had food while he was still waiting for his. She has been politely reminding him to keep his hands to himself and "Abel don't touch my juice." Even when he's sitting nicely. LOL Mostly, Angela was glad to have us back, attending her ball games and tucking her in at night.

Axel: When I was gone to complete Asher's adoption, Axel's behavior went downhill, particularly once he realized what was happening. This time Axel was, for the most part, able to keep himself in check. Thankfully those who were keeping the ship afloat at home were really good about not letting him get away with much. This time Axel understood what we were doing, and there would soon be a new brother named Abel sharing their bedroom. He had fun talking with us on Facetime whenever we could manage it with the time difference. Since we've come home he is a bit on the quiet side. We're making a point of giving him a lot of praise and Dean is taking Axel along on guy trips to the store, having Axel help him in the kitchen and things like that. Once we find our groove he will be just fine. He went through this same quiet period when we brought Asher home.

Asher: Ok, Asher was a little turkey while we were gone! He had our caregiver convinced that he he wasn't able to do much by himself. By the time we got home he had "forgotten" how to put his shoes on, how to get dressed/undressed, how to take off his jacket or put it away. He's such a stinker, and an excellent con man. That first morning we were home he layed handed me his shoe and his foot. Ummm...yeah right. We expected some regression while we were gone so no worries. He has relearned most of his skills this week. ;-) Probably the most frustrating thing has been the night-time bedwetting that started while we were gone. I may have to break out that bed alarm. Again, regression that was expected. But adding Abel to the mix has been very interesting too! Suddenly we have virtual twins! These two boys together are trying really hard to communicate with one another. They have both been in the "parallel play" stage, but ready to move into associative play. They have moments where they get some game going (usually involving Abel's block or whatever Asher happens to be dangling) and then move back to times of using one another as objects. When Abel goes along to get Asher off the bus he ALWAYS takes Asher's hand as they walk up the driveway together. Yesterday I took the two boys to Target, each holding one side of the cart. It was kind of fun having these two little guys so developmentally close to one another, each trying to help me put things in the cart (I'm sure this will get old by next week). Asher has also started doing some fun things at the table, like CHEWING!!! I'm not sure which part of having Abel at the table is pushing him to chew, but...WOW!!! Today he ate popcorn! BOTH boys are chewing. It's not great yet, but for Asher we just made about 1 year of progress in a matter of days. I'll take it!

And then there is Abel, who gets his own post. ;-)

Settling In

We've been home with Abel three full days now. It feels like we've been home a month and yet I've gotten nothing done!

Today I was doing some reflecting on our past adoptions. I remembered when we brought Asher home, he was a HUGE shock to our family system. In our heads we were adopting a 7 year old. In reality we brought home a 6 month old who could walk. He needed SO MUCH from us. He needed everything to be done for him. We thought we would have to childproof the house only to discover just the opposite! We had to teach him to reach out and touch things. That he could explore his world. That life is meant to be experienced, not passively observed from the shadows. We had to teach Asher how to LIVE. I would say the first two months were really tough while Asher learned the routines of our home and family. It took me two months to re-learn the logistics of having a kid in diapers. And a car seat. Who couldn't walk very far or eat anything that wasn't pureed to applesauce consistency. Eventually we all found our groove and we found our new normal.

Enter Abel.

I am keeping my eyes on the future. I'm remind myself that when I look back on Axel and Asher's pictures I realize they are no longer the same children. I can't imagine where Abel will be one year from now, just like I couldn't with Axel or Asher.

We were miraculously able to avoid jet lag coming home this time. This is an absolute gift from HIM because HE knew we wouldn't have time for it. No, between the extra curricular calendar, getting kids out the door for school, getting kids off the bus, taking Abel to the bathroom on a regular schedule, and never ever ever taking our eyes off him, there really isn't time for sleeping.

Abel is a very busy little boy. He has been VERY GOOD, he is just busy. He is becoming more creative in the games he plays with his block, going through developmental stages with his trusty friend. Today he played with Papa and a truck for nearly an hour! He also played with a hammer/ball toy, but took the balls out and tried to make his block work in their place. Today I took him into the bedroom and showed him how every one of the toddler toys work. He would try everything then shake his head and push it away. Later I went into the bedroom to find every toy had been taken off the shelves and explored (evidenced by the pieces all over the floor.) The other kids were at school so as long as I could hear him and I knew he was in the boy bedroom, I knew he was safe playing without me being in the same room.

We were going to wait until this weekend to introduce Abel to the dogs. Two big dogs and one small wiggly one is a lot for a kid who has been severely sensory deprived. Well, the first three mornings home he got up before Dean and I, and was found wandering the house. (that will change today!) Yesterday morning, after sending Abel back to bed, I crawled back into ours and told Dean, "Well, no need to wonder about the dogs. He's already met them and isn't thrilled."

The most difficult part of the day is morning, getting everyone breakfast and ready for school. It's been really difficult for Abel to sit and wait for his food, especially when Angela needs to get eating first because she's has to get out the door. Every morning has been lots of worry and fretting noises while he wonders if he's really going to get food. But he's learning the routine, and this morning he sat relatively quiet, making mostly happy noises while he waited. This was a HUGE and welcomed improvement! Today he had pancakes for the first time too, and he ate them without complaining. I can't say the same for the chicken strips and french fries we had last night.

Our first breakfast! Angela was already gone for school.

Abel LOVES to ride in the car! Before we traveled to Serbia, and knowing he was very close in size to Asher, I bought him the same car seat Asher sits in. Well, they may be close to the same size, but Abel has the more typical long torso/short legs that is more common among kids with DS. His torso is longer than Asher's so the harness on the car seat was too small for him. He is big enough to use it as a booster seat, but he is not ready to be in just a lap/shoulder belt. A couple days ago I brought him along to Target for some much-needed supplies. In a flash he was out of his car seat and had pushed the button for the sliding side door of the van. Yep! A new car seat was added to the Target list! Later in the day he figured out how to loosen the harness straps. UGH!

Have I mentioned that Abel doesn't sleep very well? While we were still in Serbia he was waking up between 5-5:30 a.m.. Now that we're home he's still waking up at the same time. Because he's been getting up so early and he's used to taking a nap, he's usually crabby and ready for a nap by 10:00 a.m. The first few nights, when it was time for evening bedtime, there were lots of tears and a bit of panic. Last night, for the first time, he climbed into his bed without prompting, laid down and pulled the blanket up over himself, just like Axel and Asher do. This is kind of funny since he hates having a blanket on! He fell right to sleep without any tears or worry. When I checked on them later he had thrown his blanket and pillow up onto Asher's bed. LOL

Later I'll try to get a blog post up about how everyone else is doing with their adjustment to having a new brother. 

Brothers

We're home now. I think its time to move back to blogging over here since this is our family blog and we're now a family!

Here is some video from this morning. As you probably already know, Abel came to us complete with his block (and a spare we have in hiding!) NOBODY touches the block. We have gotten us to play a back and forth game with us. I sign "please", he hands it to me, I sign/say "Thank you!" then he signs "please" and I hand it back to him, he signs "thank you." He's getting better and better at letting me hold onto his block. When he goes to the bathroom I would set it on the counter. Now he prefers to set it there himself.

This morning Abel was playing with his block on one of the dining room chairs. Asher decided to join him.

A bit of history: Asher loves to get people into headlocks, and is very creative about getting people into proper position to grab them, including baiting them into position if necessary. But Abel had a game in mind and he wanted Asher to play with him. I love how he taps Asher on the head with his foot and points to tell him to come back to the game. LOL