2 years ago today...

We already knew he had Down syndrome. 

We knew he could walk. 

We knew he could not chew. 

We knew he could not talk. 

We didn't know his name. 

We had never seen  his picture.

Two years ago today, we learned his name was Lazar.

 We were SO excited! I must have been running on adrenaline because I wrote three blog posts that day on our adoption blog. 

It was a Tuesday, November 15th. On the 18th I was on a plane bound for Serbia. 

Two Years Ago

With the tragedy that happened in Newtown CT I missed posting about Axel's 2 year anniversary with us.

Adopting a 10 year old child into your home, particularly a child who has spent the majority of his life living behind the walls of a Serbian mental institution, and throwing in Down syndrome for some added excitement, is not an easy task. Dean and I felt we were up to the challenge.

Axel was, for lack of a better description, a feral child when I took custody of him on December 9th 2010. It was a very rough day. Oh yes it was! Because this was my first adoption, I only only had half a clue what was going on. But, because of the most amazing training Dean and I have received from the behavioral staff from Courage Center, I had enough tools in my behavioral arsenal to effectively deal with what was happening. I was also very quick to discover Axel's love language: touch. I paid very close attention to the kinds of sensory input he was seeking, as well as what he chose that caused  him to become overstimulated. (this is behavioral code for "wound like a top!") Always in my mind was the fact I had only a few days to get his behavior manageable enough to be dragging him through airports and sitting on planes for 20 hours.

We did finally get home on December 15th, 2010. We said goodbye to that feral little boy soon after getting him home and he has continued to grow and mature into the happy, content 12 year old he is today.

So what's he doing now? Well, he's reading many sight words, he's become even more fluent in ASL and he's doing fantastic in school behaviorally. (many will remember that his 2nd day of school one year ago his teacher went home with a black eye!) So far this year he has only had one day in which I needed to get involved. Mostly he just needed a reminder that the rules still apply!

Axel has learned to participate in Special Olympics and he's working on learning to swim. Although he absolutely LOVES the water, just entering the pool causes extreme sensory overload for him - his response is manic laughter and splashing. It's not cute, it's at a manic level. But it's getting better and I'm hopeful by spring he's able to swim on his own.

Axel is a wonderful brother to both Angela and Asher. He can often be found helping one of them with a task they're not able to do but he has mastered, like zipping jackets or tying shoes. His play is becoming more and more appropriate and he enjoyed taking over teaching Asher how to play with toys.

We can't imagine not having Axel in our family. It's clear he was part of our destiny. Every day with him is a blessing and we're so thankful God chose us to be  his parents. 

Two years ago...

Two years ago today I was in the middle of a visit with Axel's foster home. It was my second visit. Here is what I wrote that day:

This morning my facilitator and I walked around the city center for quite some time. I have no clue why I didn't bring my camera. It's a darling area of town! Many many shops, and an area of "no traffic zone" which is kind of like the Nicollet Mall area for those from the Twin Cities. 

When we were done, it was time to go see Axel. I put some different toys in my bag for today, trying to keep things interesting you know! The first toy I brought out was a matchbox motorcycle. Axel and I played with that together with yesterday's cars.

Then his foster mother brought out some pictures from his 9th birthday a year ago. As she did so, I realized just how perfect my gift for them was! They do not have a camera of their own, and the few pictures they have are cherished! The pictures she showed me were the same ones she showed me back in April. There were only a couple of new ones. The gift I got for them was a new digital camera, along with a small tripod, case, and extra memory card. Axel's foster mother was THRILLED! I told her I knew they would want to take pictures of him before he leaves. And, while on our walk earlier I'd spotted a place where they can bring the memory card to have prints made.
Next I brought out the talking photo album. Axel was delighted with it, and his social worker and case manager were intrigued by it! My facilitator, after seeing him play with the iPad yesterday, and this photo album today, said, "You have the most interesting gadgets for him. I love it!"
I saved the toy I somehow knew would be is favorite. I'll be keeping this set aside for moments of desperation in airports, etc! Of course, the toy found in the dollar bin at Walmart is the favorite, right?

He played with this for quite some time. (I'll have to find batteries before we get on that plane! LOL) and showed everyone. In this picture he's sitting with his social workers, and suddenly looked over at his foster mother. I am oblivious, because they're speaking in another language. It wasn't until later I understood the significance of this picture. Someone in the room has just started talking about Axel going home with me.

Still unknown to me what the topic of conversation is, Axel moved to the lap of his foster mother. When I saw her start to tear up, I knew without anyone having to tell me, they were discussing Axel leaving. It is clear that his foster parents care for him very much, and will be sad to let him go.

Just then, I am asked, "Do you think you will be ok with taking him tomorrow?"
Tomorrow! Tomorrow I will take custody of Axel! Just two visits and I am his mother. Yes, I am ready to take him tomorrow, but is his foster mother ready? Is Axel ready? There is a quick conversation about weather or not I need any clothes for him (I have everything he needs, just need to make sure it all fits, but I'm confident I was at least very close in sizing!) I said no, I think I have everything, when I saw the foster mother's face look disappointed. "Unless he has something, like a favorite shirt? I bet he would like if you send that!" I said.

Please pray for me tonight when you go to bed. While you are dreaming of sugar plums, I will be trying to hold myself together so I do not turn into a puddle of tears! Axel is very sensitive to the emotions of others, and it will not be good for him to see both his foster mother and I crying! Oh Lord, please PLEASE give me more strength than you ever have before!!! I thought adopting was hard, but taking Axel away from the people he clearly loves is going to be the most difficult step!!!

Although I will take custody of Axel tomorrow, there is much to be done. I will still be here in this city until approximately Wednesday or Thursday of next week.

Two years ago

Two years ago I boarded a plane for Serbia. (there were a lot of trips to Serbia over the last couple of years, and two of them happened in Nov/Dec. LOL) I was on my way to meet Djorjde for the 2nd time!

The first time we met, April 2010