Thirteen years ago today, in the city of Belgrade, a baby boy was born. He was very much wanted, planned for and loved while in his mother's womb.
And then he was born.
Things changed from that point on. At two days old Abel was sent to live in the institution in Belgrade. Left alone for the first three days to "cry it out", a practice meant to teach babies that crying is ineffective, Abel didn't stop crying like he was supposed to. He spent the next 10 years surviving.
Then three years ago this week, Dean and I made our first appearance in his small, sheltered world. He was so tiny, yet SO STRONG!!!
That day we made a decision to love this little boy no matter what. It was his birthday, and the staff could no longer manage him. Had we not agreed, he was being moved to the adult facility in Subotica. Abel was not a happy little boy. He cried constantly and was a bundle of high anxiety. We knew that life with Abel would not be easy, but we chose him anyway.
It took some time, but Abel learned that our showing up every morning and afternoon was a good thing!
Let met tell you how amazing this young man is!!! He is the most observant young man I have ever met. His communication has bypassed most of the other kids. He is strong as an ox, and if you need something heavy moved, Abel is your man! He will happily lug that large object wherever you want it.
Abel is a happy young man now, with broad shoulders and the shadow of a mustache. He has found humor and joy in life. He knows there are people who love him, and he returns that love in his own ways. Although he appears to spend a lot of time in his own world, he is very much connected to the here and now. Although he is not attached to the people here, he IS attached to our home and routine.
This post can't be written without acknowledging the woman who sits weeping on the other side of the world. She has not seen Abel since the day he was born, but still, I know she weeps.
Abel, we are so happy God brought you to our family! You have added the element of surprise, and a special sense of humor. We wouldn't have it any other way!
And then he was born.
Things changed from that point on. At two days old Abel was sent to live in the institution in Belgrade. Left alone for the first three days to "cry it out", a practice meant to teach babies that crying is ineffective, Abel didn't stop crying like he was supposed to. He spent the next 10 years surviving.
Then three years ago this week, Dean and I made our first appearance in his small, sheltered world. He was so tiny, yet SO STRONG!!!
That day we made a decision to love this little boy no matter what. It was his birthday, and the staff could no longer manage him. Had we not agreed, he was being moved to the adult facility in Subotica. Abel was not a happy little boy. He cried constantly and was a bundle of high anxiety. We knew that life with Abel would not be easy, but we chose him anyway.
Let met tell you how amazing this young man is!!! He is the most observant young man I have ever met. His communication has bypassed most of the other kids. He is strong as an ox, and if you need something heavy moved, Abel is your man! He will happily lug that large object wherever you want it.
Abel is a happy young man now, with broad shoulders and the shadow of a mustache. He has found humor and joy in life. He knows there are people who love him, and he returns that love in his own ways. Although he appears to spend a lot of time in his own world, he is very much connected to the here and now. Although he is not attached to the people here, he IS attached to our home and routine.
This post can't be written without acknowledging the woman who sits weeping on the other side of the world. She has not seen Abel since the day he was born, but still, I know she weeps.
Abel, we are so happy God brought you to our family! You have added the element of surprise, and a special sense of humor. We wouldn't have it any other way!
Happy 13th Birthday Abel!!!!
Dear Abel,
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday and warmest wishes from your home town of Belgrade. Srecan rodjendan!!!
Dragana
What a lovely tribute to your son.
ReplyDeleteHe has grown a lot since coming to your family. I can't believe he's 13 now. I hope he had a great special day.
ReplyDelete